Between East & West: Former President of Bosnia

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Hello,

Sometime ago, I read (parts of) the book “Islam Between East & West” by the late former Bosnian President, Alija Izetbegovic (1984, American Trust Publications, ISBN: 0-89259-057-2). I must admit it wasn’t the easiest of reads as it appears to be a real in-depth journey into his mind and the reconciliation between his identity, philosophies, nationality and faith. So, I’m glad he summarised the work in his autobiographical notes: “Inescapable Questions” (2003, The Islamic Foundation, ISBN: 0-86037-362-2) so that I may represent the summary here for your convenience (pp 26-29):

“My aim with that book was to consider the place of Islam in the present-day world of ideas and facts. It appeared to me that it lay somewhere between Eastern and Western thinking, just as the geographical position of the Muslim world occupies the space on the globe between East and West. I tried to show that some general ideas and some values are common to all humanity. To summarise briefly, these are the contents of the book: there are only three world views and more there cannot be - the religious, the materialist and the Islamic.

Everything is created in pairs (Qur’an). Man is a dual being: body and soul. The body is merely the ‘carrier’ of the soul. That carrier has evolved, which means it has a history, but the soul has not; it was inspired by the touch of God.

The first aspect of mankind is the subject of science, the second of religion, art and ethics. This is why there are two accounts and two truths about mankind.

In the Western world, they are symbolised by Darwin and Michelangelo. Darwin has nothing to about Michelangelo’s man, and vice versa. Their truths are different, but not mutually exclusive. Over time they manifest themselves as the opposition of civilisation and culture. Science and technology belong within the domain of civilisation, religion and art to culture. The first is the expression of human needs (how do I live), the second of human aspirations (why do I live). This is the contradiction between utopia and drama.

Utopia does not recognise the individual, drama, morality. Study and meditation are two different spiritual activities, with opposing foci: the first is outwardly oriented - towards nature, the second inwardly - towards the spirit and the Self.

Every scientific method leads towards a negation of God and man, whilst all art announces religion. If there is no God, there is no Mankind either. And without mankind humanism, human dignity and human rights are empty phrases.

Civilisation knows nothing of the notion of duty, and every culture is an affirmation of the victim. Civilisations aim is an ‘earthly empire’ with utopian equality, and religion’s is the ‘kingdom of heaven’. This is Campanella’s ‘Civitas Solis‘ as against the ‘Civitas Dei‘ of St. Augustine. Their is no moral order without God. Morality is merely ‘another physical condition’ of religion. While civilisation is evolution; history, religion and art have no true development.

Every religion was pure in its origins (ur-monotheism). It becomes corrupted in the course of its history, as is the case with art and morality; hence the opposition between Jesus and the Church. Every true law is dual, and medicine is never purely science.

Caveman’s drawings or the aboriginal masks from Polynesia are in essence works of art no less stirring than modern creations. The whole of life is marked by this primary dualism, and its ’signs’ may be found in every phenomenon linked with the name of man. Here too is the difference in spirit between Old and New Testament, between Moses and Jesus. One was leader of the people, the other a preacher of morality. And there, too, lie their two different justices and aims: the Promised Land and the Kingdom of Heaven.

These opposites are reconciled in mankind and in Islam. Islam is a synthesis, the ‘third way’ between these two poles that denote all that is human.

I must admit that I was afraid of experts and their reading of the book ‘line by line’. I felt confident that a reader who followed the vision outlined in rough, or even hinted at, in the book would find something more in it than the pedantic, analytical mind. I was aware that my attempt at stating my vision remained understated, merely conjectural, and in places incoherent. I gave a number of familiar concepts a metaphorical rather than conventional meaning: Judaism, Christianity, Islam and so on are metaphors, with general rather than specific meaning. For example, Islam is a major metaphor for the ‘third way’, for every form of life, with a formula that fulfils the human person. In fact, the book was no more than testimony to a vision of the world.

I enjoyed identifying new parallels, theses and antithesis, coincidence and symmetries, but this was not the subject that interested me most deeply. There was one issue that always preoccupied me more than any other: the issue of famous losers. I regarded it then, and regard it to this day, as the deepest religious problem. It can be posited in a number of different ways: whence the tragic and pathos in the Darwinian-Euclidian world? What are the great losers like, and why do we admire them so if this life is the only one we have? Were Antigone, Socrates and Jesus really losers? And if so, why are they so great in our eyes?

What is the origin of our admiration for the fallen heroes that has accompanied us ever since the pre-historical Iliad and The Epic of Gilgamesh? Do not even films such as cheap Westerns exploit our innate sympathy for the victim (that is, for losers) and resistance to the calculated, to self-interest? Sympathy for the victim is not something we can find in the intellect, but only in the soul, by which I mean, essentially, that is not ‘of this world’. And I say sympathy, not understanding, for this is not, and cannot be, understanding.

No amount of reasoning, cogitation and sagacity can explain or justify a single case of a life sacrificed for justice and truth. Something that is very close and comprehensible to every human soul eludes examination by all our science and philosophy. Between the act approved and the approbation there is no mediation of reflection, no apportionment of reasons pro et con. It may even be said that there is no time lapse. It is the instant reaction of the soul to good and justice, to something that is identical to the soul itself. In the world that atheists regard as the one and only, the tragic and tragedy are impossible. In such a world there are only incidents and misfortunes.

In this mindset, tragedy manifests itself to us as a religious parable. In tragedy, villains fall on their feet and great and sincere souls suffer. And because there is no ‘intellectual’ operation to proclaim these eternal losers as mad and demented, the entire story, and in particular its tragic end, appears to us as merely the first act of a greater drama - one that only God could think up. For suffering and death - which are the end of everything to the intellect - are here merely an interval between two acts in a continuing drama. Our admiration and sympathy for the fallen hero are completely meaningless from the intellectual point of view, but for that reason - whether we are aware of it or not - it is deeply religious. For only in such experiences do death and failure or loss have an entirely different meaning.

I dedicated many pages of Islam Between East and West to this question, seeking to resolve it in a variety of ways, but I was never wholly satisfied with the answer. It continues to preoccupy me to this day.”

Men are like rubber bands

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Hi there,

The Magic of Relationships seminar is coming up on the 18th December. To get us started, allow me to share with you some ideas that will help foster better understandings towards one another.

Men are Like Rubber Bands:

Which means they like to pull away, they like to stretch out to create distance, but then they have to return - often springing back. Its the male intimacy cycle that involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again. Women don’t tend to realise this rhythm and feel distressed when the deep romance surrounding a relationship abruptly ends and when the man wishes to focus on something else. It’s a common misinterpretation because women tend to pull away for different reasons: when she doesn’t trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and fears being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

Of course a man can pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if the lady has done nothing wrong. It could purely be a male thing - the need to have space - even though he loves and trusts her. But like the stretched rubber band, he’ll come back. This need for space is like the man going into his cave: its a place of solitude, independence and autonomy. He’ll soon feel the need to spring back and automatically pick up the intimacy at whatever levels required, even just before he pulled away, without the having to go through a period of getting reacquainted again.

If properly understood, this male intimacy cycle enriches a relationship, but can cause havoc when misread and misjudged, or even mis-timed. Usually, the man can give and take less readily than the woman, so the women thinks that her man is not reciprocating her love. Women naturally give and take more readily and can easily express their sentiments. But when they don’t see this happening with the man, they misjudge him and think that there’s something wrong with him. Anxiety builds up when she tries to ‘fix’ him - that’s not what he needs…rather he wants to simply pull away to have his own breathing space: whether its in the shed, out with friends, strolling, watching a movie or reading. She continues to get frustrated when he wants to ignore her and she develops ideas that he doesn’t love her, or worse still, think that he has got someone else! A confused state of affairs soon arises.

Women should understand the need for a man to pull away. Its good for him and her (and any children). He’ll spring back with power and enthusiasm. Men however need to remember that it may be easy for them to get to intense levels of intimacy as he was before pulling back, but the woman may need to time to catch-up and re-familiarise - particularly if she’s been through a state of confusion or panic (she doesn’t know what she did to switch you off)!

It is very confusing for a woman when a man pulls away because something she says or does often triggers his departure - usually when she begins to talk about feelings. The talk of feelings creates intimacy and the man can be defensive and not open-up, hence begin to pull away. It’s not that he doesn’t care about her feelings as at another point in the intimacy cycle those same feelings will draw him closer. So its not just what she says but rather when.

When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, common symptoms are increased passiveness, moodiness, irritability and defensiveness. And the women builds a huge amount of dependency on the man that can lead to a high degree of unwarranted trust, such that if he does pull away, she feels totally dejected for ‘doing something wrong’ or misappropriating the trust. She may begin to resent him and hold bitter feelings towards him unjustifiably. When women don’t understand the male intimacy cycle, they can unknowingly obstruct it in two ways: they are (1) chasing him when he pulls away; (2) punishing him for pulling away.

Men must be sensitive to the needs of women (I’ll come on to that later) but also understand the requirement of pulling away. If timed, done well and worked with, a high degree of satisfaction can be engendered in the relationship such that the natural rhythms of both the man and woman are held to a better standard. There’s no need for guilt or blame on either side. The man needs to go to the cave every now and again, grow and become wiser….he’ll return to with a freshness that the women has longed for and will be better prepared to hear her share her feelings. The patient woman who understands this will love and trust her man, share with him as needed, and allow him to open-up in his own time without demanding it to be so.

This single insight into the male cycle that has been represented as mimicking a rubber band can replace so much confusion and unnecessary pain with that of care and understanding.

Soon we’ll take a look at how women act as waves….

For Success and Contentment,

Asad Khan