Hi Dear Reader,

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”

At every stage and level of life we encounter relationships that help us to become more of who we truly need to become: a person leading a life of authentic ambition and purpose. But is this just an ideal and a fantastic thought, or is it practicable in our everyday lives?

I believe that some people are naturally gifted in dealing with other people in a way that readily breaks down barriers and helps create an air of trust. With their smooth, authentic interaction they engender mutual feelings of cooperation and dialogue and friendship is built easily. They do this without necessarily realising that they are doing anything special – and this is true of most masters in skills which they are either naturally gifted with or develop over time. Such people don’t carry any agenda’s, deploy techniques or skills, nor are they seeking any particular gain. It is the purer action of theirs that carries with it the hallmarks of sincerity and kindness that touches the other person with whom they are relating. Of course, these masters will have their share of troubles and we’ll see later how they have incorporated certain strategies at the sub-conscience level to deal with obstacles as well as difficult people and circumstances.

Yet there are many of us who struggle to get our points across at the best of times and leave meetings with feelings of distrust, doubt and false impressions. No matter how hard we try, there are things we just can’t seem to complete, tasks we can’t get done, people we upset endlessly, challenges that crop-up over and over again, and end-up with one bad encounter that leads to a souring of the mood and distraction from work all day!

As with most things in life, there are certain aspects which are inherent, internal and natural and there are other aspects that are out of direct control, unenforceable, independent. Your task should be to recognise this difference and learn to work on things that are directly under your control:

Things You Can Control

• Focus
• Self-Discipline / Time
• Behaviour & Habits
• Feelings & Intentions
• Communications Methods

Things You Don’t Control

• Other People & Their Thinking
• Their Availability (Time)
• Their Moods and States
• Their Behaviour/s & Values
• Environmental Circumstances

Even a regular glance at this list will help you to refresh the timeless aspects of things that you can control and things that you cannot. Far too often, people trip-up in their work, relationships, duties and goals because they worry too much about things that are out-of their control and don’t help themselves to grow by working on those things that are.

Here is an example for you: when you were a baby, or indeed in your mother’s womb, which aspects did you control? Did you control what others felt, how they lived, what they did or didn’t do, what happened in the society, timings, events, context, circumstances or any of the other things around you. No. You simply did what you were biologically designed to do: grow physically. But as your eyesight strengthened so did your awareness of the world. As it did, it became clearer to you that not all things are perfect, people don’t always understand what you mean, nor do you get what you want when you want it.

You also realised that certain people meant more to you than others. A special bonding with the ones who were in primary care over you led to the understanding that they can do for you as much as you liked, but then there were some expectations placed upon you that you had to deliver in accordance to. A greater realisation led you to the understanding that self-interest meant that the more you wanted to get, or do something, the more you could attempt to please others in order to obtain that objective. Without meaning to do it, you learned you could bend a situation to serve your purposes, but it just wasn’t so sure to work all the time…

Now, as an adult you know that there are several relationships at multiple levels and the fulcrum of them all is you. Your attitude and skills combined will help to foster relationships of mutual cooperation, of need, of love, of neighbourliness, of generosity and not just those of temporary convenience.

Great relationships – be they professional, social or intimate – are all dependent on one key aspect: your ability to communicate effectively, both- verbally and non-verbally. And the key to communication is having a good understanding of other people: their culture, backgrounds, context, time/stage in life, evaluating (inner-processing) styles, current priorities and commitments, pressures and challenges, etc. Of course you may not learn all of this overnight, but one Golden Formula that you can internalise now is:

“Behaviour Begets Behaviour”

If you want to achieve something with someone then carry a pure intention, a smile, and positive expectations. This will help induce into the other person the same characteristics and ensure a safer passage towards your goals. This is why the “The Magic of Relation-ships” is in understanding that a:

“A ’Relation’ is a ‘Ship’ that helps carry you to your desired destination.”

The more free and authentic you are, the greater the likelihood of achieving your aims. Not to hold other people in contempt is the surest way of freeing yourself of self-imprisonment, as the ‘ship’ won’t then travel anywhere fast!

Earlier, I said some people effortlessly get on in life as though all was made to happen for them. But as a matter of fact, we just don’t see the problems they encounter in life, work, health and relations and how they cope / respond to them. So what do they do? Well, in brief (because I want to elaborate on such aspects in future postings), they realise that relations are an asset, just as knowledge is capital, and they appreciate not only levels of authority, but also degrees of care, respect, trust and acceptance. In addition, they have a better idea of the things that are under there control and those that are not. So whether in leadership, management, at home, outdoors or at work, know the:

3 keys to Successful Relations & Happiness

1. Get a real vision of what you want and make a plan;
2. Understand what you may have to give-up to get it;
3. Take action and deal with people in the best manner possible;

Focus on the infinite possibilities of your relationships, work, life and goals. Be aware of the things that lead to distraction, worry and bitterness:

Things That Take Away Your Focus:

1. Unwarranted Fears
2. Immediate pleasures (instant gratifications) & urgency addictions
3. Other people’s demands and meddling in their affairs

“Travel Lighter, Let Go of Unwanted Concerns.”

Till next time,
For Success & Contentment,
Asad Khan

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Here is an interesting article re-produced from Time - By Reihan Salam

Middle-class kids are taught from an early age that they should work hard and finish school. Yet 3 out of 10 students dropped out of high school as recently as 2006, and less than a third of young people have finished college. Many economists attribute the sluggish wage growth in the U.S. to educational stagnation, which is one reason politicians of every stripe call for doubling or tripling the number of college graduates.

But what if the millions of so-called dropouts are onto something? As conventional high schools and colleges prepare the next generation for jobs that won’t exist, we’re on the cusp of a dropout revolution, one that will spark an era of experimentation in new ways to learn and new ways to live.

It’s important to keep in mind that behaviour that seems irrational from a middle-class perspective is perfectly rational in the face of straitened circumstances. People who feel obsolete in today’s information economy will be joined by millions more in the emerging post-information economy, in which routine professional work and even some high-end services will be more cheaply performed overseas or by machines. This doesn’t mean that work will vanish. It does mean, however, that it will take a new and unfamiliar form.

Look at the projections of fiscal doom emanating from the federal government, and consider the possibility that things could prove both worse and better. Worse because the jobless recovery we all expect could be severe enough to starve the New Deal social programs on which we base our life plans. Better because the millennial generation could prove to be more resilient and creative than its predecessors, abandoning old, familiar and broken institutions in favour of new, strange and flourishing ones.

Imagine a future in which millions of families live off the grid, powering their homes and vehicles with dirt-cheap portable fuel cells. As industrial agriculture sputters under the strain of the spiralling costs of water, gasoline and fertilizer, networks of farmers using sophisticated techniques that combine cutting-edge green technologies with ancient Mayan know-how build an alternative food-distribution system. Faced with the burden of financing the decades-long retirement of aging boomers, many of the young embrace a new underground economy, a largely untaxed archipelago of communes, co-ops, and kibbutzim that passively resist the power of the granny state while building their own little utopias.

Rather than warehouse their children in factory schools invented to instil obedience in the future mill workers of America, bourgeois rebels will educate their kids in virtual schools tailored to different learning styles. Whereas only 1.5 million children were homeschooled in 2007, we can expect the number to explode in future years as distance education blows past the traditional variety in cost and quality. The cultural battle lines of our time, with red America pitted against blue, will be scrambled as Buddhist vegan militia members and evangelical anarchist squatters trade tips on how to build self-sufficient vertical farms from scrap-heap materials. To avoid the tax man, dozens if not hundreds of strongly encrypted digital currencies and barter schemes will crop up, leaving an under-resourced IRS to play whack-a-mole with savvy libertarian “hacktivists.”

Work and life will be remixed, as old-style jobs, with long commutes and long hours spent staring at blinking computer screens, vanish thanks to ever increasing productivity levels. New jobs that we can scarcely imagine will take their place, only they’ll tend to be home-based, thus restoring life to bedroom suburbs that today are ghost towns from 9 to 5. Private homes will increasingly give way to cohousing communities, in which singles and nuclear families will build makeshift kinship networks in shared kitchens and common areas and on neighbourhood-watch duty. Gated communities will grow larger and more elaborate, effectively seceding from their municipalities and pursuing their own visions of the good life. Whether this future sounds like a nightmare or a dream come true, it’s coming.

This transformation will be not so much political as anti-political. The decision to turn away from broken and brittle institutions, like conventional schools and conventional jobs, will represent a turn toward what military theorist John Robb calls “resilient communities,” which aspire to self-sufficiency and independence. The left will return to its roots as the champion of mutual aid, cooperative living and what you might call “broadband socialism,” in which local governments take on the task of building high-tech infrastructure owned by the entire community. Assuming today’s libertarian revival endures, it’s easy to imagine the right defending the prerogatives of state and local governments and also of private citizens — including the weird ones. This new individualism on the left and the right will begin in the spirit of cynicism and distrust that we see now, the sense that we as a society are incapable of solving pressing problems. It will evolve into a new confidence that citizens working in common can change their lives and in doing so can change the world around them.

We see this individualism in the rise of “freeganism” and in the small but growing handful of “cage-free families” who’ve abandoned their suburban idylls for life on the open road. We also see it in the rising number of high school seniors who take a gap year before college. While the higher-education industry continues to agitate for college for all, many young adults are stubbornly resistant, perhaps because they recognize that for a lot of them, college is an overpriced status marker and little else. In the wake of the downturn, household formation has slowed down. More than one-third of workers under 35 live with their parents.

The hope is that these young people will eventually leave the house when the economy perks up, and doubtless many will. Others, however, will choose to root themselves in their neighbourhoods and use social media to create relationships that sustain them as they craft alternatives to the rat race. Somewhere in the suburbs there is an unemployed 23-year-old who is plotting a cultural insurrection, one that will resonate with existing demographic, cultural and economic trends so powerfully that it will knock American society off its axis.

Salam is a policy adviser at the nonpartisan think tank e21, a blogger for the National Review and a columnist for Forbes.com

For Success & Contentment,

Asad

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Hi,

I thought it would be good for you to know a little bit more about me and the the background to Ark2Ark Training & Coaching. So here’s the summary interview of my bio submitted to a local business magazine:

For over 14 years Asad Khan has been providing strategic leadership to individuals, groups, corporations, organisations and government agencies.

Asad Khan (PhD) has blue-chip corporate experience working alongside some of the world’s top scientist in the Research and Development Headquarters of the Pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline. He has been a consultant on technology and knowledge commercialisation projects to public institutions both governmental (Dept. of Trade and Industry, Regional Development Agencies, Local Authorities, etc.) and non-governmental (Academia) with Angle Technology Ltd. He has worked with Islamic Relief, an International Relief & Development NGO and through them, was involved in early post-war reconstruction work in Iraq in late 2003, as well as setting-up offices in Johannesburg, South Africa. He also has extensive experience of working with a variety of people and groups in voluntary capacities and has engaged in a number of projects that have impacted local communities.

Asad Khan has learnt powerful strategies, tools and techniques that can help people to evaluate their personal, professional and public pursuits in life. He works in ways which can help identify a person’s real talents, values and ambitions. Further, he can help crystallise these internal drivers and transmute them into solid plans so they create a compelling future in which the true life goals and purpose are being realised. No matter which level of standards one is currently living at, he believes there is every potential for personal growth with maximisation of ones abilities. He has the motivation and ingenuity to dispel fears and limiting belief patterns that hold people back from higher achievement and helps galvanise the forces that thrust their personal energies into desired directions. Commenting on his vision behind creating Ark2Ark Training & Coaching he says:

“I knew my strengths were always in thought-leadership, communication and resource mobilisation. It hit me right in my heart that such people skills were high on my personality listing. My job is to help discern the meaning behind events people face and get them into positive action, a mode of fulfilment and a commitment to higher levels of self-determination and actualisation. It upsets me to know that talented people can stroll through life only to reach a point of understanding where they query ‘Is this all there is?’ I want to shift this point of realisation to an earlier stage so that there is time to turn potential regrets into sources of inspiration and beneficial action.”

He has trained with world-class leaders in the field of personal development who have used their talents in transforming the lives of millions around the globe – both as individuals and corporate/organisation members including Anthony Robins, Paul McKenna and Christopher Howard as well as in-depth study of Stephen Covey’s work. He has, over the years, steadily built his own understandings and added his personal dimensions to the field. When asked about his route into strategic self-leadership coaching, he responded:

“We simply don’t give ourselves the chance to understand how we work; what makes us tick; how to get centred and look on the inside; how to grow to a level which enables us to let go of inconsequential things; how to appreciate the finer aspects of relationships and to expand our minds and hearts to embrace both minor or major matters of importance. Throughout the years I have gone through ‘traditional routes of progression’ in academia and professional endeavours only to realise that something deep was missing: a sense of self-belief and living on my purpose with true passion & contentment.”

His desire to break from monotony and social configuration led him through a period of self-analysis and reflection. Perhaps this is his key distinction – that he has personally walked through this process for himself and now supports other leaders and high achievers to step-up their game:

“I took a break from it all and threw everything I had into working out what the meaning of my life’s work was to be. I have to tell you this because despite being what appeared to be a rising professional, I knew that complacency and self-limiting beliefs would get in the way of my fulfilment and I had to ‘step out of the box’ - my comfort zone - in order to reflect and develop plans. See, initially I climbed the corporate & social ladder as a rising star tends to; then I came down a few rungs. And now I’ve gone back-up with greater perspectives. I can confidently say that I know what it means to be in the dark; be mediocre; settle for the ordinary; get socially, or corporately, scripted and even get pre-occupied with matters of insignificance. Conversely, I now also know what it means to be enlightened; be emboldened; be empowered; be energised to take risk and discover new potential both within and around me.”

His experiences are far-ranging and contain the depth necessary to have insights into the developing strategies that help people shift into more resourceful, enlightened, balanced states of being. He’s often been questioned as to why he’s so passionate about working with people to develop higher standards, regain balance and work their edge, for which he replies:

“I’ve had times when I’ve seen top-ranking professionals just crumble under the enormous pressure they face without knowing what had happened. For instance, a middle-aged professor in a leading university was having an intense period in his work routine with all sorts of deadlines looming concerning proposals, contracts, company listing, patents etc. as well as strife within his team. He was arriving early to his office and leaving late – sometimes very late, in order to meet the deadlines. This continued over a number of months and there seemed to be no end to the amount of things he had to attend to, including more deadlines. Consequently, he faced the unimaginable: his wife wanted to divorce him and take their 3 children with her. He had got to a stage where there was an imbalance in his routine with a lack of priority of things. He had the best of intentions that led him to work flat-out but without recognising the negative consequences on his personal health and relationships. Not only did he lose his family, but some of his senior members of staff also left and the once ‘high priority’ work that he’d spent long hours on had now collapsed. The point of the matter here is that important work will always be around, as I said to him, but that it mustn’t overtake our bearings and sense of balance, principles and time such that our various roles and activities are adversely affected. I know there are people who are silently suffering from lack of clarity and conviction to their innate nature - which is the root-cause of incongruence. But with the right support things can be adjusted so that a person is re-aligned and centred.”

Asad Khan is known for his talents and abilities, and they are apparent for all to see who engage with him and allow an air of honesty and opportunity to exist around them – which he helps create if there is an unconscious resistance to this. He has witnessed radical transformations in individuals who were formally living a filtered, scripted and constrained life. Complete turnarounds in their views, perspectives, directions and course of actions have been achieved with his interventions and assistance. He has also been noted to energise and captivate audiences with his presence, moving presentation and thought-provoking analysis. When asked about publishing his thoughts and experiences, he says:

“I’ve started drafting some pages and intend to publish a book in the next couple of years, but for now I’d like you to understand this: our life is but a summation of our choices and what, and more importantly how, we decide to act now will determine the quality of our lives in the future and ultimately our destiny. I’m currently busy working with people to re-align with their authentic self and a book will happen when the time is right. However, a workbook is available. Ark2Ark Training & Coaching is a continuation of a desire and it won’t stop here; there’s plenty more to come. At this moment, I’m giving my all to this and I’d like to offer you a little food for thought in what I believe form The 7P’s of Incredible Psychology. I’ll be writing about these in more details in the forth-coming book, but readers are requested to sign-up to the regular newsletters for further details and meanings behind the 7P’s as well as other gems.”

PURPOSE - PASSION - PERFORMANCE - PRODUCTIVITY - PROGRESS - POWER - PEACE

“And I’d just like to add that there is already a lot of success, achievement and blessing in one’s life but we need to pay careful attention to understand the thread between them and their possible meaning. When we do have challenges, when we dip, it’s usually for a reason – life wants to help us grow and learn new perspectives. But the tragedy is when we don’t pay heed to these pointers and we continue on regardless of whether we have good fortune or misfortune. Ark2Ark Training & Coaching was set-up to act on the hearts and minds of talented people to guide their inner thoughts and feelings; but not just to inform, rather to transform.”

Go ahead and order your Workbook and view the Training Brochure for all courses and you can book onto the Seminars here.

Why not Asad call for a free half-an hour coaching session and see the what the power of coaching can do for you. Call me on +44 (0)161 860 77 77.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

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