A Father between East and West

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In the early hours of Tuesday night (3rd of January 2012), I got a call at 3:00am that my beloved father, Mohammed Afzal Khan, had peacefully passed away, at the age of 78, and his soul’s journey had moved to the next stage of its journey. I made my way back to Manchester from the south of England by car and arrived by 11:00 am to find the process of communications between the coroner, mortuary (at the hospital) and the personal medical doctor were all underway, with my three brothers and two sisters being kept abreast of it.

Due to Islamic prescriptions of burying the deceased as soon as possible, we were all anxious that the body was released sooner rather than later. But owing to his excellent general health, the medical practitioner was unable to issue a death certificate. However, with some assistance from friendly local municipal councillors, who sent emails to the coroner, we managed to get the body by late Thursday afternoon. His body was washed on Friday morning, prepared for burial – only two sheets of cloths are required to cover the body – and then transferred to the mosque where the final prayers would be made over it.

The funeral was well-attended, some 2,500 people or so came from multiple sides, the mosque was over-capacity and so many had to pray outside in the car park area to ensure attendance.

The body was then transferred to the graveyard with some following the hearse vehicle and many others making their own way. His body was lowered directly to the ground six feet below onto the cold, wet earth, wrapped in the two clean white cloths, with his face showing, and then turned eastwards towards the direction of Mecca. Further involuntary prayers and supplications were read over the grave by Imam’s who were touched by the whole scene and felt a close attachment with my father both in living days and on his departure from this plane of existence.

Now, here is what is more surprising, in a sense, than any of the procedures or indeed his sudden departure: the number, range and type of people who visited our houses to remember him fondly – women, including my mother, were in the adjacent house and men in my father’s house.

Since my arrival on Wednesday morning until Monday morning, apart from the burial day of Friday, I have personally been receiving people from eleven in the morning ‘til eleven in the evening. Many expressed their shock and disbelief of his expiration, as he was so fit and healthy, whilst others recounted their times with him.

One of the oft-repeated aspects mentioned by them was my father’s kindness and ability to make people feel warm, special and welcome when meeting them – both young and old. It’ll be easier for me to copy here what I put on my facebook and twitter statuses on the morning of January 6th:

“Dear Friends, the loss of any near one is a gap that cannot be easily filled, but even more if it was one who was a pillar of society: one who combines the secular and religious seamlessly such that the social and spiritual merge with grace, beauty, mystifying power and great resolve. One who crossed continents yet had deep care for one-and-all on both sides of the global hemisphere; one who gave his full attention, willingness and magical smile to both young and old alike to make each feel extra special, assured, centred and clear-minded; one who resolved conflicts, aided the insecure, helped fulfil the aspirations of the eager, and gave comfort to those in distress. A person of principles with huge self-dignity, his goal was to make people see the brighter side of life. This is just a glimpse of my dedicated Father, whose soul entered the next stage of its journey a couple of nights ago, and whose body will be buried by me and my brothers tomorrow on the glorious day of Friday. Please join me with your refined thoughts and prayers in earnestly asking Almighty God to have mercy on his soul. Thank you.”

Esteemed people of the society came and sat with us at home and through this testing time, I managed to get right to the heart of why so many endearingly remembered him. This is what I want to share with you here as I feel it will assist manifold in the common relations we have amongst us whilst we attempt to tackle the issues of everyday life on top of the global concerns surrounding us. He was not the richest, most powerful or the most famous, but he was amongst the most caring, sincerest, principled and whole-hearted of people.

Until his last days, he was himself running a daily luncheon club for the elderly. Though we all told him to leave it and rest more, his view was that it provided him daily activity, a focus, and an opportunity to engage with others; something I only came to truly understand posthumously.

His affectionate concern for others stemmed from a deep appreciation for how sincere and useful others were towards him just as he was unreservedly towards them. Colour, creed, gender, role, status, socio-economic class were not barriers or his measurements for bonding, but moreover, the genuine application a greater value system of others within inter-personal relations.

This value-system is what carried him into the political arena where the Rt. Hon Gerald Kaufmann, MP has been a long-standing friend of his (for over thirty years). I believe given the right circumstances, he would have made a brilliant cabinet minister. But he had a young family to take care of in a new country, get them through education - which was his main priority - look after the household here in England as well as those overseas, including the needs of several relations who called upon him living in Pakistan, Canada and elsewhere.

Apart from these practical issues, another feature that kept him slightly away from committing fully-fledged to the political machinations was his deeper spiritual understanding, strong values of ethics and principles of morals ~ with truth and justice residing above all. Accordingly, political expediency was not his mantle, nor could he accept the “rule of the mob” at the expense of ‘golden-mean’ standards. Most of the national and international issues were clarified in his mind as he saw the extension of the ‘great game’ as a farce, a denial of International law and a rejection of the idea of principles over policy. Thus, he found an alternative way, his way, in the care world.

As such, the last and only one to be with him in the depths of that Tuesday night in his transference from earthly existence to the spiritual realm was my beloved mother (75), whom he was looking after. Since that moment, she has proven herself to be a solid rock in the midst of torrent rain, wind, and engulfing sea waves of trial and tribulation. Remarkably, she retains redness in her cheeks, a glowing testimony that it is her character which has come to symbolise the 55 year partnership she had with my father.

All their children and several grandchildren will remember this message well: that a lasting partnership has love, understanding and compromise at the root of its organisation. It is now up to us to continue such a wonderful legacy with both faith and benevolent determination as we journey on back into the same Earth and beyond.

Stealing the Truth

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“Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.” JFK

We all know when a child asks a parent for money to buy something, or to get the actual item itself, it naturally has high expectations that the parent will fulfil the wish. At the top of the child’s mind is the object that it wants - a bike, a doll, a game, or whatever it may be - and it keeps on asking ’till it gets an acknowledgement, a confirmation or an assurance that it will happen. Now let’s suppose that the parent does not have the full money at the time of request, but if with sincerity the father or mother says “I can give you this much now, save it, and later I can give you the rest“, the child will be appeased and happy that the parent is responding in a reasonable manner and though the item is not yet obtained, the negotiations have been amicable and the answer is fair. If, however, the parent out-rightly rejected the request of the child without any justification it will leave a bitter taste in the mouth of the child and questions of acceptability in his or her mind. Now, a step worse than this would be if the parent rejected the request on grounds of ‘lack of money’, only shortly thereafter to buy something for him/herself! One would wonder “Where is the fairness?” or rather, “Where is the love?” Being rejected without explanation is one thing, but being lied to is simply wrong, for it leaves a dark hole in the heart of the betrayed.

This is precisely how many in the nation of United Kingdom (as well as large parts of the rest of the world including the United States) feel in relation to Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan: a bitter taste has developed because their collective voices were not heard when making earnest requests to not follow the gun-ho attitude of George Bush. Contrary to the confident impressions being made by Mr Blair, the collective sentiments were proven to be correct: there are no wmd’s. So the people’s concerns - just like that of a child in the above example - were, and are, absolutely valid; at the time they felt that the image being presented was distorted, as a result we wanted to be satisfied with proper evidence, a thorough examination of the situation and legal protocols in place primarily with UN-sanctioned military action as the very last resort. Moreover, our initial shock and disbelief over the validity of the claims of ‘weapons of mass destruction’ (wmd’s) and the subsequent realisation of the truth were never settled, at the very least through an unconditional apology, and so in the end we’ve all simply being lied to and are to continue coping with ‘a gaping hole in our combined heart’.

The consequences of this deception has been utter devastation of sovereign states, killings of hundreds and thousands of people, reversal of economic growth and trade, impediments to public services including education, health, transport, judicial as well as the others, a rise in unemployment, depression, familial loss, and all sorts of chaos and mayhem.

Wasn’t this the objective anyway some may ask? Well certainly some would say this could have been part of it, as one of the major criticisms was the lack of post-invasion development. And what are the pay-off’s for the metaphorical ‘father-figure’ and his friends? Well, we have come to know about the lucrative developmental, security and other contracts and of course, the access to oil.

This kind of self-interest, biased action is going on all the time, just take a look at NATO’s course of action in Libya despite the same turmoil in Yemen and Syria, but of course Libya has the oil reserves. Similar accounts were leaked regarding Mr Weritty and his arms/defence negotiations in the comfortable surroundings of Dubai with businessman Harvey Boulter, who was led to believe that Mr Werritty was ex-Defence Secretary Dr Fox’s official advisor. Mr Boulter was also paying Mr Werritty’s London lobbying firm Tetra Strategy thousands of pounds a month for help to secure contacts in defence. A company also set-up by the same in 2005, the year Dr Liam Fox became UK’s shadow defence secretary, was called ‘Security Futures’, which boasted that it promoted “a better understanding of asymmetric ’security’ risks that the UK faces“.

So what exactly is this, securing economic interests over Public interests - I’m a tad confused - for it goes against the British schooling and the home-grown values I’ve had all these years. And how befitting to do it in a Muslim country - isn’t that one of the home-land of those awful, pitiful, treacherous terrorists….? Oh, and supporting the Libyan rebels, well who would have thought?! Good heavens! It’s just like we supported, along with the CIA, Osama bin Laden against the Russians. We know there was a never a link between the twain: OBL and Saddam. Yet they both suffered a humiliating death, and now we can add Gadaffi to the list. All of them one time favourites, indeed allies, finally turned against, pounced upon and annihilated, Halleluiah!

Am I speaking rather bluntly? Well yes, as I’ve been asked to, not least because for the past decade the ‘Asian’s / Arab / Muslim-named’ individuals (including white-folks) have all been broad-brushed as terrorists by the media, governing parties, establishments and inter-connected institutions. This is precisely what the images were depicting in the wake of the 7/7 bombings in London, 2005. Television news reports showed images of Muslim women dressed in traditional clothing walking around the streets of British cities and shopping in open-markets. Clever shots of their feet scurrying around were shown as though they could not be trusted - “they’re probably carrying suicidal bombs under their garbs!” was the sinister projection. In my view, juxtaposing such images with terror alerts was a just shoddy journalism; I wouldn’t even call it sensationalism.

Are we forgetting the numerous ways in which these so-called terrorists actually contribute towards the welfare of British and other societies around the globe: think for a moment of the teachers, pharmacists, doctors - whom you entrust your lives to - pilots, technicians, lecturers, police officers, shop-keepers, traders, carers, artists, writers, musicians, developers, engineers, governors, bankers, taxi-drivers, accountants, sports people, and the list goes, everyone, more or less, trying their best to grow in life and raise their families in the best way possible, some paying for it with their lives whilst honourably defending the community at large. It doesn’t mean there aren’t issues and problems, indeed we are all human beings, and issues will be forever here. But to tarnish the good reputation of whole religious, faith-based and ethnic groups with preposterous slurs is not intelligent.

And this is what worries me most about such sub-standard practices; it is the level and quality of intelligence that we process, perceive as true, begin to shape our beliefs around and consequently base our actions upon. I’m now going to give two accounts of this. One on the governmental level, and the other the popular or mass level and help us to see the connection between the two.

Intelligence - or the lack of it
As Remembrance Sunday comes and goes and the debate of wearing the poppy arises, yet again, let us remind ourselves that we are still living the sad legacy of invading Iraq and Afghanistan, actions that could be instantly stopped by a complete withdrawal of British troops from these places as the reasons for presence there have long-evaporated. Plenty of dissenting sentiments have been voiced over this, most notably near the beginning of the propaganda, prior to invasion, as the very seeds of planning in the minds of Blair and Bush as far back as 2002 became clearer to those around them. The ongoing Chilcott Inquiry is due to publish its report in early 2012 which is claimed to criticise the style of ’sofa-government’ that Mr Blair chose in order to exclude some senior cabinet ministers from critical decisions which were being handled as ‘under-the-table’ deals. It will also show how the invasion was a for-gone conclusion regardless of protocols, intelligence or legitimacy.

I recently visited the library in Cheltenham and came across a number of interesting articles and books. One of them was of the late Mr Robin Cook, Leader of the House of Commons and former Foreign Secretary, who resigned from the Cabinet in objection to the coming war in Iraq; his resignation speech prompted the first standing ovation in the history of the House. In “The Point of Departure” he recounts his personal interactions with then Prime Minister Mr Blair and covers his personal disillusionment with the whole case for war. In short, Mr Cook says ‘Britain has got to be seen on side with Blix. You will never carry British opinion with you if it is we who are seen to be sidelining the work of the inspectors.’ Hans Blix himself, Chief Weapons Inspector, shrewdly sensed what Washington wanted from him: ‘They would say I was too compliant with the Iraqis when in reality they meant I was not compliant enough with what the US wanted.’

Mr Cook further adds, “They had been given plenty of cause to come to doubt their own claims. The scepticism about the September Dossier which has surfaced from within the UK intelligence community is a pale reflection of the raging controversy in the US. There the case against Iraq had been subcontracted to the Office of Special Plans which had been set up by Donald Rumsfeld to find the right kind of intelligence. The official agencies who had been marginalised by this development struck back. The Defense Intelligence Agency reported that there was ‘no reliable information’ that Iraq possessed or was producing chemical weapons. CIA veterans subsequently protested to the President at what they described as “a policy and intelligence fiasco of monumental proportions”.

In his epilogue (pp. 359-60), Mr Cook wrote: “Neither he (Mr Blair) nor Britain will be able to put the war on Iraq into the history books unless we recognise that mistakes were made. This is not simply a matter of putting the record straight. The reason why it is important to face up to mistakes is that only then is it possible to learn lessons from them. In the case of Iraq it is essential we learn the lessons that will prevent Britain ever again committing troops to military action on the basis of faulty intelligence.”

With the huge loss of life, many question the integrity of our leaders, or the soundness of their judgement, when they enter oil-rich countries (now Libya) on any claimed basis: humanitarian, political, alliance-based, democracy-enforcing, and so on. We are all used to the rhetoric. Perhaps it’s high-time to do the sensible thing and put a stop to this kind of madness; I know in some quarters they are asking to call Bush and Blair to a War Crimes Tribunal to prevent similar uni-lateral imperialistic action. In the memories of Mr Cook and Dr David Kelly, in addition to all the level-headed people who resigned because they were facing stubbornness - and not to mention the thousands upon thousands of vulnerable Iraqi and Afghani men women and children, as well as the many brave British and American troops who have paid with their lives, this may not be such a bad thing to do…

Faulty intelligence, or deliberately lying and risking so many lives, is plainly wrong. Continuing to lie, deny, and refuse to admit mistakes puts one further into the wrong: it is tantamount to murder itself. There has to be justice, as best as we can humanly obtain, for the sake of our humanity’s future and as a consequence, the perpetrators of any unjust war must be punished.

Hans Blix was scathing about the useless character of the intelligence fed to him: ‘I thought, “My God, if this is the best intelligence they had and we find nothing, what about the rest?”‘

And one of the key pressing aspects, as Mr Cook sincerely points out, is related to correction: “This is turn leads to the gravest of political questions. The rules of the Commons explicitly require ministers to correct the record as soon as they are aware that they may have misled Parliament. If the government did come to know that the State Department did not trust the claims in the September Dossier and that some of even their own top experts did not believe them, should they not have told Parliament before asking the Commons to vote for war on a false prospectus?”

British and Good Western Values
So here in Cheltenham is where I came nearer to understanding the mechanism of information being fed to ministers and their subsequent policy-formulation. Here is also the historical home of Government Communications Head Quarters (GCHQ) where hundreds of workers are busy monitoring all the airwaves, phone calls, sms text messages, cyber-space, internet links, emails, social media sites, Bank accounts, etc. for information that maybe of concern to national security and potential leads that possibly enhance or undermine it. I’m personally happy to have such a huge and important infrastructure as part of our heritage. The major problem is when messages, signals and movements are mis-interpreted, as demonstrated in the above devastating examples at individual, national or international scales.

Further, it does not help one iota to our society if supplementary British institutions follow suit of similar corruption by adorning an attitude of blanket dis-regard for verification of the truth over false notions; entertaining poor speculative thought or fanciful imaginations; or worse still, pursuing objectives for economic, personal and vested interests.

If attempts can be made by a select, corrupt few to mislead whole nations into believing that there is an imminent threat of some sort on one occasion, then this can happen over, and over again. And it is exactly what is happening in principle across the board in many sectors: private, public, community. Power, earned or conferred, is preventing proper judgement, fair analysis and reasonable action. We like to hail time-distilled British standards and values such as transparency and accountability but find ourselves at the opposite end in practice to what we profess with our mouths, particularly when we have power, influence or resources ready to be exploited at our fingertips.

And when there are people not at such privileged ends of the spectrum making a jab at decency, we witness the collision of class, structure and inequality out-pouring into the streets. Here I’d like to draw upon the recent riots in Britain, which haven’t occurred like that in many a decade - since 1981 to be precise. Much analysis has been given to it and some of it, as presented in the accompanying link to the article by Peter Oborne is pretty much on the mark: “Our politicians - standing sanctimoniously on their hind legs in the Commons yesterday - are just as bad. They have shown themselves prepared to ignore common decency and, in some cases, to break the law. David Cameron is happy to have some of the worst offenders in his Cabinet…. These double standards from Downing Street are symptomatic of widespread double standards at the very top of our society. It should be stressed that most people…continue to believe in honesty, decency, hard work, and putting back into society at least as much as they take out… But there are those who do not. Certainly, the so-called feral youth seem oblivious to decency and morality. But so are the venal rich and powerful - too many of our bankers, footballers, wealthy businessmen and politicians… The culture of greed and impunity we are witnessing on our TV screens stretches right up into corporate boardrooms and the Cabinet. It embraces the police and large parts of our media. It is not just its damaged youth, but Britain itself that needs a moral reformation.”

The point here is absolutely clear as the light of day: the little thieves on the streets as we saw them in the riots - regardless of the so-called assigned class they actually belong to (lower/middle) - cannot be blamed for the moral degradation of our society when the ‘father-figures’, whom they are required to look upon, are acting as big thieves themselves!

These self-styled privileged ones are actually the ones who are really poor. They have all the opportunities surrounding them to make a positive and lasting contribution towards the welfare of our societies but prefer to put personal gain ahead of Public Interest. It is this corruption, I strongly believe, that is decaying the very moral-fibre of our society, not the lesser actions of those who ‘have-not’ - who want to close the gap of the inequality of the capitalistic structure albeit through petty crime and wanton destruction. Though is not an exoneration of their individual responsibility, they do have the role-models to help justify their actions and shape their values of greed, fraud, deception, violence and corruption. The only distinction is that the small thieves had a one-time chance to grab what they could, and some got punished, whereas the big thieves have sustained opportunities to exercise wilful corruption and immorality often with impunity, until that is, it gets ridiculously out of proportion.

Systemic Corruption
So when corruption begins to get both systemic and trans-sector it becomes seriously dangerous. Take the media and police as two key pillars in our society. Both were in collusion in the phone-hacking debacle that led to resignations of key personnel at the very top of these institutes respectively. Whether it was journalists or police officers, each had a moral and public responsibility to do the right thing, in the right place, at the right time, in the right way. This also goes for the counter-terrorism support these institutions are lending to the government of the day. If we, as a nation, have been giving credence to the police and media for their accounts of the terrorist threats on mainland Britain due to their moral authority well it’s time it needs to stop. And not only because the phone-hacking issues continue to unfold and show how ominous and immoral this systemic corruption and fear-mongering is, but because the voices of dissent, scepticism and questioning of the official versions of events have been going on at least since Lady Diana Spencer’s mysterious death to the 9/11/01 attacks in New York.

Take Tony Benn for example, a man who entered the Commons in 1950 and with Edward Heath held the record for post-war service as an MP; he has held four cabinet posts and has twice contested the leadership of the Labour Party, of which he has also been chairman. He writes his memoirs in one of his publications called Diaries 2001-2007 - More Time for Politics, in which he shows two interesting pictures after page 112: Tony Blair meeting George W. Bush “The Conspirators” and Dr David Kelly “Victims of War” (along with the people of New York).

As I skim Mr Benn’s memoirs, I notice many anecdotes of interest. One that has caught my eye is an entry on Friday 4 November (p. 275) where he inputs “David Shayler, the former MI5 officer, spoke at a Stop the War meeting in Hammersmith this evening. He was the first speaker, and he devoted himself entirely to trying to establish that 9/11 was a fraud - the buildings would never have collapsed, the Pentagon was penetrated probably by a bunker-busting bomb, not by an aeroplane. The trouble about the security services is that they live completely in a conspiratorial atmosphere. I don’t know that it registers much with the public. Probably, in their heart of hearts, most people think the attack was genuine, but I don’t rule anything out.”

On Wednesday 9 November, 2005 (p. 278) Mr Benn states: “Heard Blair on the radio saying, ‘I don’t understand how Labour MPs could have voted against the ninety days’, and of course it’s true, he didn’t understand. He doesn’t understand anything - he doesn’t listen to anybody!

A year earlier on Thursday 11th November 2004 he wrote “Yasser Arafat had died, the Palestinian leader, and his body was flown back with full military honours from Paris to Cairo for the funeral….Of course Arafat was hated by Sharon, and distrusted and disliked by Bush. The coverage of his death, you know, made him out as a terrorist, whereas Sharon is a prime minister - it’s so disgusting!

I won’t give a detailed account of Mr Benn’s statements and views, but will finish his contributions with snippets of a rather interesting interaction he has with the former president of Iraq, Saddam Hussein. On the afternoon of Sunday 2 February (p. 91) shortly after 4.30pm, a filmed interview commenced between Mr Benn and Saddam Hussein:-

TB: Mr President, may I ask you some questions. The first is: does Iraq have any weapons of mass destruction?
SH: Most Iraqi officials have been in power for over thirty-four years and have experience of dealing with the outside world. Every fair-minded person knows that when Iraqi officials say something, they are trust-worthy. A few minutes ago when you asked me if I wanted to look at the questions beforehand, I told you I didn’t feel the need so that we don’t waste time, and I gave you the freedom to ask me any question directly so that my reply would be direct. This is an opportunity to reach the British people and the forces of peace in the world. There is only one truth and therefore I tell you, as I have said on many occasions before, that Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction whatsoever. We challenge anyone who claims that we have to bring forward any evidence and present it to public opinion.

TB: I have another which has been raised: do you have any links with al-Qaeda?
SH: If we had a relationship with al-Qaeda and we believed in that relationship, we wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it. Therefore, I would like to tell you directly, and also through you to anyone who is interested to know, that we have no relationship with al-Qaeda.

TB: May I broaden the question out, Mr President, to the relations between Iraq and the UN, and the prospects for peace more broadly, and I wonder whether, with all its weaknesses and all the difficulties, whether you see a way in which the UN can reach that objective for the benefit of humanity?
SH: The point you raised can be found in the United Nations Charter. As you know, Iraq is one of the founders and first signatories of the Charter. If we look at the representatives of two superpowers - America and Britain - and look at their conduct and their language, we would notice that they are more motivated by war than by their responsibility for peace.

I can understand the protection of certain personal, corporate and state interests when done in a dignified and satisfactory manner. However, it’s when one picture is presented to suit personal prejudices - whilst the reality is completely something else - that I have a natural difficulty swallowing such version of events whilst at the same being made to accept it as morally authoritative.

Moral Leadership
I fully respect the tasks which some of our leading establishment workers have to do; the information they need to sift through, and accordingly make sense of, is often complex. One such person was George Tenet, who, at the most controversial and challenging times in recent history, had the lead role in the “most important intelligence organization in the world”. As Director of Central Intelligence appointed in 1997, he had the onerous task of dealing with high turbulence across Arabia and Asia with imminent threats back towards the coastline of both sides of the Atlantic. In his account, “At the Center of the Storm: My Years at the CIA”, he recounts the difficulty of assessing the ‘truth’ and provides dramatic insight and background on the run-up to the invasion of Iraq, and the true context of Tenet’s own now-famous “slam dunk” comment regarding Saddam’s WMD program; as well as the CIA’s critical role in an administration predisposed to take the country to war. Through it all, Tenet paints an unflinching self-portrait of a man caught between the warring forces of the administration’s decision-making process, the reams of frightening intelligence pouring in from around the world, and his own conscience.”

Everyone appreciates a person who does his or her level best to deliver trustworthy, honourable and reliable work. We all want to give, and be given, credit for upholding such principles and standards. It is not the difficulty of the job pertaining to the ‘man in the arena’ to borrow Theodore Roosevelt’s term given in his speech at the Sorbonne, “Citizenship in a Republic” (April 23, 1910). Rather, it is the deliberate attempts to jar the public perception from the true picture by distorting reality to suit political and personal bias.

In “On War” (first published in 1832), Carl von Clausewitz observes: “The great uncertainty of all data in war is a peculiar difficulty, because all action must, to a certain extent, be planned in a mere twilight, which in addition not infrequently - like the effect of a fog or moonshine - gives to things exaggerated dimensions and unnatural appearance.”

Despite the ‘fog or moonshine’ there are people who are reasonable and true-to-principles who come around to seeing the reality, and at times it can happen once they are out of the ‘arena’. Such is the case with former MI5 chief Lady Eliza Manningham-Buller who believes dialogue with terror groups, including al-Qaida, requires courage but ‘is necessary’. There is a question she said at the time she was head of MI5, “whether the UK supped with a sufficiently long spoon”. She made it clear in an earlier Reith lecture that, in her view, the activities of MI6 were wrong. Subsequently, and interestingly, the current terror threat level in the UK has been decreased from ’severe’ to ’substantial’ based on criteria of intent, capability and time-scale.

Whether they make a statement whilst they are in the arena or out of it is not the point. But crucially, the point is for rationally-minded people who are concerned about the veracity of truth over political expediency to voice their views with confidence, in the best manner available, at the most appropriate time. This, I believe, is how the systemic corruption in our institutions will begin to gradually fade out. And as tough as might be to stay within the system whilst taking such a position, people like Clare Short, ex-Secretary of State for International Development, would serve British interests better, in the longer term, whilst helping to steer, amongst other aspects, the Foreign Policy towards just causes. This is what she wrote about in her book, “An Honourable Deception?” in an attempt to change the way British politicians and politics is conducted. Incidentally, in February 2004 she was also remarkably involved with whistle-blowing the fact that GCHQ workers had allegedly tapped into ex UN Secretary General Kofi Annan’s phone calls and felt strongly that he needn’t be spied on.

Such authentic leadership, as with Clare Short, lends itself better, in my view, to containing the various ills and harms that spring in, around and on our society. Dignified anti-war voices of millions shouting “Not in our name!” ought to be listened to respectfully with direct impact on policy and governmental action. After all, this is the democracy we want others around the Middle East and elsewhere to adopt isn’t it? As stated earlier, it is not too late. British troops can still be withdrawn peacefully today. The imperialistic, ‘forward-presence’ strategies of the G. W. Bush and allying neo-cons need not be sustained. Why are they? I am still wondering about this!?

I feel that the imbalance in our society will not be re-dressed until proper, un-corrupted leadership is in place in every corner of our society. There is absolutely no fairness in bailing-out private banks to the tunes of billions of pounds and then saying there is no money for healthcare, or unfairly increasing student tuition fees under the guise of equality. This simply reeks of impropriety, incredulousness and insults the common intelligence. No wonder people have once again taken to the street and are saying “enough is enough” as witnessed in the world-wide Occupy (Wall Street) Movement aimed at “Reclaiming the Economy and Recreating Our Democracy”. On both sides of the Atlantic, and indeed across the world, people are taking a stance to the economic and social inequalities.

It does not surprise me that the spirit of the Arab Spring is spilling over to Europe. Though the student fees issue has less to do with direct Foreign Policy as it does internal state affairs, people are making quick and valid assessments to the flow-through liability. On the States side, one sociology graduate student Jonathan Gomez has said “This is one of the few times where corporations are sitting on the most money they have ever sat on in the history of this country; we pay more than we ever have and we get less.” Here in the UK another one called Glynn told BBC News he had come to protest against a “corrupt government” which was fuelled by “corrupt money and bankers”.

I sense that the people at the top, who love to dish-out punishments to the lesser privileged and blame them for the inadequate behaviours they demonstrate from time-time, are not really paying attention to their own code of conduct.

Why, for instance, has it taken so long for the likes of Rupert Murdoch, who has been allowed to crash public opinion in his own favour for several years, without being challenged for his views on local or global issues, only now being called somewhat to account? It is clear that he has amassed billions in personal wealth during the process of public manipulation, collusion with corrupt establishment members, and throughout he probably had a significant part to play in recent global military wars!

Just how and why do we come to trust these sources and people who purport false reports? Why should people who have names such as Donald (Rumsfeld), Dick (Cheney), Paul, (Wolfowitz), George (Bush), Tony (Blair), Ian (Blair), Paul (Stephenson), John (Yates), Andy (Coulson), James (Murdoch), etc. be trusted? Solely because their names are corresponding to your own, or they dress in a similar style or drive the same car, is that it? Or that they might drink in the ‘local’ near you, or their children may study at the same school/college or university as yours? This simply is not good enough; such types of people have repeatedly broken Public trust by either squandering Public wealth, embarking on slur campaigns, manipulation of evidence, fear-mongering or, as in some cases, directly responsible for the deaths of innocent lives.

The best of British and Western values are being eroded, as we have seen in the recent riots, which may be put down to years of liberal dogma, but more-over, in my view, it’s due to the lack of authentic, versatile and proper leadership at the helm of our public and private institutes. Even the hasty Hutton Inquiry into Dr Kelly’s death was left totally questionable with one person, who has thirty years’ experience on the legal bench, commenting on the in-complete investigation: “As it has been left, the whole scandalous affair is a complete travesty”.

Unfortunately, once again, the political and inter-connected legal meandering is continuing to upstage common sense with the parliamentarians again undoing their own commitment to fair democratic processes as in the Babar Ahmed debacle. Held for more than seven years without trial, the man is not being given a hearing in the UK despite over 140,000 signatories on the government e-petition, which is a record for the little amount of time - a matter of a few weeks - which it was given to amass the required total of 100,000 signatures for his matter to be debated in the main chamber in the House of Commons, just as it is required. One of the worst and most dangerous precedence we’ll set for our legal system, and the future of our democracy, is to allow the extradition of this man to the US to take place based purely on allegations related to thought-crime without evidence provided for the British Publics’ scrutiny.

The People’s Demands
As a British-born, Western-developed individual, I am accustomed to many of our inherently good traditional values we espouse: suspend judgment whilst establishing the truth, seek compromise, punish the unlawful, amend mistakes, make apologies, forgive and forget the past, be honest and upright, honour the guests, compete fairly, be confident, and so on. Indeed, one of the adages we often hear quoted is “What goes round comes round”.

So what is clear to me is that people, around the world in both the East and West, are venting their anxieties through a number of means - protests, petitions, vigils, occupy camps, strikes and various types of campaigns - about the deliberate cover-up’s, falsification of reports, victim harassment, fear-mongering, shoddy journalism (and at times immoral and unwarranted sensationalism), the uncanny manipulations, the corruption, greed, the squandering of Public wealth, the vast number of deaths and unnecessary destruction, all which must be limited as much as possible through appropriate ministerial, legal, commercial, industrial and public checks and balances.

Intelligence, both raw and refined, must be valid. It must be coherent, accurate and thorough. Where inconsistencies and gaps in information may exist, there is a requirement for a rational, balanced and longer-term, nuanced view on matters so that situations arising are read in the best and fairest light possible. Whatever the colour of any presiding government - be it Blue, Red, Yellow, Green or any combination of them, it is important to weigh information objectively, and to present it in terms of the values listed above.

Policies must be dependable, fair and equitable. Actions, military or other, must be justified, consistent and legitimate.

Journalists must have freedom of press. But the symbolism, language and tonality must not attempt to smear any group, particularly without a shred of real evidence available. Inflammatory remarks aimed at jabbing, mocking or teasing whole groups must be curtailed. Further, they must be held accountable to industrial regulations.

People must be listened to. A truly open arena must welcome public debate; this is enlightened democracy. Those working in the interests of national security at every level should come out from behind the silos and join the Public debate, airing views in an amicable manner, thereby adding real value back to the genuine discussion.

The brief accounts given earlier of Mr Cook, Mr Benn, Mr Tenet and Ms Short, amongst others, though written a few years before, just go to accentuate the very difficult tasks on the agenda of our Western governments, and their related agencies, in dealing with the ‘war on terror’. I know that we are living in troubled and ‘interesting’ times. But the situation is not helped by moral corruption in our own institutes. It is not helped by the 99% of the population having their concerns ignored.

Such corruption is precisely what has caused a stir in the Middle East region for the unprecedented Arab uprising, which clearly demonstrates to us here, that there is a new way of dealing with people’s expectations whilst maintaining obligations towards the Crown or country, as well as coordinating strategies for peace and security, both nationally and internationally.

As most people are, I too am personally dedicated to realising the real potential of world peace by mitigating the risk of terror-type threats through the best and most productive means available. In my view, this must be based on solid values such as trust, veracity, accountability, credibility and legitimacy. Political expediency alone must not sacrifice these values, or the hard work done to establish good relations and trust will be wounded, or worse, undone, as witnessed by the now widely-regarded infamous neo-con policies post 9-11 (2001).

Work must be conducted with a real yearning to serve the Public’s interest and must be credited as much as possible when done so. Yet we have seen above how many an expert - Mr Blix, Mr El-Baradei, Mr Tenet, Mr Cook and Dr Kelly, and others of similar kind, have been overseen despite their years of insightful experience, honesty, objectivity and patriotic loyalty. The business of ’sexying-up’ dossiers, or falsifying the truth to fit with particular bias should be the stuff of crime and espionage novels. We know that people at the very top of our governments have got it plainly wrong on many occasions, most notably in Iraq.

Of course there are a multitude of people serving the greater good, God and country and are either risking or dedicating their lives for such purposes. It, however, does no favours if the actions of our governments are far removed from solid intelligence and sincere motives. This leaves a foul atmosphere, a bitter taste in the mouth and an awkward feeling in the pit of the stomach.

The general Public - including sincere cabinet ministers - sense clearly if they are being misled. The awful and outrageous action to invade Iraq / Afghanistan in absence of UN Security Resolutions is a recipe for disaster, as we have clearly witnessed through the immense death tolls through-out that region. This can have further grave repercussions on our shores which we want to minimise anyway!

So whether it is Remembrance Sunday (Armistice) or not, we must always remember that unless there are justifiable and legitimate grounds for military action, troops should not be risking their lives, families should not be losing their loved ones, and innocent civilians need not die. One always questions why those who send the youngsters and their captains off to the battle fields - the politicians - are not there themselves? And if money is short in the treasury, with the economy having such a bad time at present, with more Public cuts imminent, why not pull the troops out and save the money - and precious lives??

The deaths of Robin Cook, Dr David Kelly, John F Kennedy et al. ought not to be in vain. Moral leadership must be aware of public perception and sensitive to their concerns. We must thereby do our utmost to live by Golden Principles: Truth, Validity, Legitimacy, Consistency and Justice.

Both policy and public policing need to be real, justified and fair. Legitimate security concerns should be approached with consistency in mind, principles in the heart and equality in action. Media and Police - key institutes of our society - ought to be working to impede real criminal targets and threats, not engendering baseless fear. Bankers and other’s in the top so-called ‘1%’ need to get closer to the ground and really feel the needs of others.

In such way, I feel, we can have responsible leadership who don’t steal the truth but rather offer it freely for they are principled and prepared to stand by it. In this manner, the ‘children’ need not feel any guilt towards what the ‘parents’ are doing for rather than having ‘a gaping hole in our combined heart’, it is filled with trust, love and honesty, as beautifully and practically shown by a genuine father-figure such as Nelson Mandela. A befitting tribute to his legacy is the life-like statue placed in the capital with the words of then Mayor of London Ken Livingstone summing up Mr Mandela’s exemplary life in these words:

“Long after we are forgotten, you will be remembered for having taught the world one amazing truth, that you can achieve justice without vengeance. I honour you and London honours you.”

For Truth, Justice, Success and Contentment,

Asad R Khan

A Few Other Presentations…

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Hi,

Here are some of the other presentations submitted elsewhere for public viewing, but which I thought would be suitable for referencing here also…

There’s plenty more to come, so stay tuned!

For Success and Contentment,

Asad R Khan

Beware of *3* in Your Life..

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Dear Friend and Supporter: Greetings!

We all have to deal with things on an on-going basis. Here’s my gift for your support and patience, God bless you with courage and wisdom:-

3 things in life that never come back when gone:

  1. Time
  2. Words
  3. Opportunity

3 things in life that should never be lost:

  1. Peace
  2. Hope
  3. Honesty

3 things that make a person:

  1. Hardwork
  2. Sincerity
  3. Commitment

3 things that can destroy a person:

  1. Lust
  2. Pride
  3. Anger

3 things in life that are valuable:

  1. Love
  2. Faith
  3. Prayer

3 things in life that are constant:

  1. Change
  2. Death
  3. God

Care to share by inviting your friends & contacts to our group:

http://bit.ly/9wusyh / & / http://bit.ly/9ZWknR

Thank you and may we go from strength to strength!

Sincerely Yours & for Real Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

The Magic of Relationships

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Hi Dear Reader,

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”

At every stage and level of life we encounter relationships that help us to become more of who we truly need to become: a person leading a life of authentic ambition and purpose. But is this just an ideal and a fantastic thought, or is it practicable in our everyday lives?

I believe that some people are naturally gifted in dealing with other people in a way that readily breaks down barriers and helps create an air of trust. With their smooth, authentic interaction they engender mutual feelings of cooperation and dialogue and friendship is built easily. They do this without necessarily realising that they are doing anything special – and this is true of most masters in skills which they are either naturally gifted with or develop over time. Such people don’t carry any agenda’s, deploy techniques or skills, nor are they seeking any particular gain. It is the purer action of theirs that carries with it the hallmarks of sincerity and kindness that touches the other person with whom they are relating. Of course, these masters will have their share of troubles and we’ll see later how they have incorporated certain strategies at the sub-conscience level to deal with obstacles as well as difficult people and circumstances.

Yet there are many of us who struggle to get our points across at the best of times and leave meetings with feelings of distrust, doubt and false impressions. No matter how hard we try, there are things we just can’t seem to complete, tasks we can’t get done, people we upset endlessly, challenges that crop-up over and over again, and end-up with one bad encounter that leads to a souring of the mood and distraction from work all day!

As with most things in life, there are certain aspects which are inherent, internal and natural and there are other aspects that are out of direct control, unenforceable, independent. Your task should be to recognise this difference and learn to work on things that are directly under your control:

Things You Can Control

  • Focus
  • Self-Discipline / Time
  • Behaviour & Habits
  • Feelings & Intentions
  • Communications Methods


Things You Don’t Control

  • Other People & Their Thinking
  • Their Availability (Time)
  • Their Moods and States
  • Their Behaviour/s & Values
  • Environmental Circumstances

Even a regular glance at this list will help you to refresh the timeless aspects of things that you can control and things that you cannot. Far too often, people trip-up in their work, relationships, duties and goals because they worry too much about things that are out-of their control and don’t help themselves to grow by working on those things that are.

Here is an example for you: when you were a baby, or indeed in your mother’s womb, which aspects did you control? Did you control what others felt, how they lived, what they did or didn’t do, what happened in the society, timings, events, context, circumstances or any of the other things around you. No. You simply did what you were biologically designed to do: grow physically. But as your eyesight strengthened so did your awareness of the world. As it did, it became clearer to you that not all things are perfect, people don’t always understand what you mean, nor do you get what you want when you want it.

You also realised that certain people meant more to you than others. A special bonding with the ones who were in primary care over you led to the understanding that they can do for you as much as you liked, but then there were some expectations placed upon you that you had to deliver in accordance to. A greater realisation led you to the understanding that self-interest meant that the more you wanted to get, or do something, the more you could attempt to please others in order to obtain that objective. Without meaning to do it, you learned you could bend a situation to serve your purposes, but it just wasn’t so sure to work all the time…

Now, as an adult you know that there are several relationships at multiple levels and the fulcrum of them all is you. Your attitude and skills combined will help to foster relationships of mutual cooperation, of need, of love, of neighbourliness, of generosity and not just those of temporary convenience.

Great relationships – be they professional, social or intimate – are all dependent on one key aspect: your ability to communicate effectively, both- verbally and non-verbally. And the key to communication is having a good understanding of other people: their culture, backgrounds, context, time/stage in life, evaluating (inner-processing) styles, current priorities and commitments, pressures and challenges, etc. Of course you may not learn all of this overnight, but one Golden Formula that you can internalise now is:

“Behaviour Begets Behaviour”

If you want to achieve something with someone then carry a pure intention, a smile, and positive expectations. This will help induce into the other person the same characteristics and ensure a safer passage towards your goals. This is why the “The Magic of Relation-ships” is in understanding that a:

“A ’Relation’ is a ‘Ship’ that helps carry you to your desired destination.”

The more free and authentic you are, the greater the likelihood of achieving your aims. Not to hold other people in contempt is the surest way of freeing yourself of self-imprisonment, as the ‘ship’ won’t then travel anywhere fast!

Earlier, I said some people effortlessly get on in life as though all was made to happen for them. But as a matter of fact, we just don’t see the problems they encounter in life, work, health and relations and how they cope / respond to them. So what do they do? Well, in brief (because I want to elaborate on such aspects in future postings), they realise that relations are an asset, just as knowledge is capital, and they appreciate not only levels of authority, but also degrees of care, respect, trust and acceptance. In addition, they have a better idea of the things that are under there control and those that are not. So whether in leadership, management, at home, outdoors or at work, know the:

3 keys to Successful Relations & Happiness

  1. Get a real vision of what you want and make a plan;
  2. Understand what you may have to give-up to get it;
  3. Take action and deal with people in the best manner possible;

Focus on the infinite possibilities of your relationships, work, life and goals. Be aware of the things that lead to distraction, worry and bitterness:

Things That Take Away Your Focus:

  1. Unwarranted Fears
  2. Immediate pleasures (instant gratifications) & urgency addictions
  3. Other people’s demands and meddling in their affairs

“Travel Lighter, Let Go of Unwanted Concerns.”

Till next time,
For Success & Contentment,
Asad Khan

What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

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Hi,

I think that this is a beautiful song and is made for these kind of days…days of expectations unrealised.

Tell me, what do you see and more importantly what do you “think to yourself?”

What a wonderful world indeed! Praises to the One Who created it. Realise the greatness within and around you and then fulfill the promise you made to your Creator.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and tell someone that you truly love them.

Asad

What do you mean Women are…

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…like waves? Well, you are now familiar from the post below how men have an intimacy cycle, one that most men don’t seem to understand, let alone women they are attached to. But that’s the trick here: to pick-up key ideas and tools that help create a greater self-awareness and insights into fulfilling your inherent potential that you have been born with. We don’t all have the necessary skills to lead a perfect life and to grapple each issue that life challenges us with ease and grace, but if we hone our skills - communication, confidence, thinking, relationships, networking, and others, then I ‘m sure you’ll agree that we move closer to fulfilling that potential rather leaving it dormant.

So, as the man begins to understand his own cycle and reassures the women when he pulls away that he will be back, it helps more so with the women’s wave mood: she feels high when acknowledged, loved and appreciated - her self-esteem rises when she’s feeling good about herself. But when she’s not, the peak turns downwards and the wave crashes down. This crash is temporary however and automatically her wave will begin to rise.

A woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is usually a reflection of how she is feeling about herself. When not feeling as good about herself, she is unable to be as accepting and appreciative of her partner. At her down times, she tends to be feel frustrated and more emotionally reactive. At the time when her wave is at the bottom, she is vulnerable and in need of more love. When the man understands this, he can give her what she needs and not make unreasonable demands. Rather, she might want some quality time, a little breathing space and typically the need to talk about her problems, to be heard and understood. This tendency of the woman coming down is like her going into her ‘well’ where she is sinking into her unconscious self to do some ‘mental & emotional house-cleaning’. But if she is supported and cared for whilst at the bottom, she will soon rise back again to share her love in her relationships.

A common mistake men make is to think that once she is high she can remain there forever. Not so lucky guys! Listen, just as you need to retreat and pull back to have intimacy, women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others. It just like the 4 seasons, you don’t get hot summer all the year round! Life, like the seasons, moves in rhythms and merge seamlessly into one another. So when a women is having an emotional winter, love and support her so that she can move into spring and to the shiny summer sooner where she can radiate her full love to you. Both men and women have such love rhythms and its important to reflect them back to each other, as they do not necessarily coincide in a timely fashion.

So how can a man help his wife to rise back? Firstly, by not attempting to ‘fix’ her. See, its one thing a women having to go into her well to tidy her emotional clutter whilst being supported, but its another if she’s told that she needs to be ‘fixed’! When this happens you know what to expect: a row and a bust-up. I know how we men like to look for solutions to fix problems, but as has been mentioned repeatedly, the woman needs to be heard. Her talking about her issues, however mundane they may appear to you, are her way of healing and you can expect her to become more upset if you do truly listen to her. Let her express, vent and clear-up because she’ll feel lighter for it as this will help her to release the baggage and rise up.

To support a woman when she is in her well is a special talent and benefit that will help the relationship move through the years and seasons without you even noticing it as such. Just remember, the likelihood of issues being repeated whilst she’s in her ‘well’ are high. They may be deep issues, old issues, repeated issues, or whatever the flavour of the day happens to be. Whatever it is, the man will do good to help validate her feelings whenever she’s gone down to her ‘well’. He may never resolve the issue, or ‘fix’ it, but the essence of the support is in his giving time, space and appreciation to her feelings. He, nor her, ought to ever think that he is at fault for her going into her ‘well’. Nor is he a failure for not resolving the issues regardless of how many times they may reoccur. Again, its about providing the safety for her to express and for him to validate her feelings.

So men who support their women intelligently and patiently reap the most reward for the woman is comforted by the idea of having a man who understands her well enough for her to trust and relate to.

I hope this insight helps add to the conveniences of our natural relationships so that the true beauty of the otherness in the significant other is sought, harnessed and matured.

For Success and Contentment,

Asad

Men are like rubber bands

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Hi there,

The Magic of Relationships seminar is coming up on the 18th December. To get us started, allow me to share with you some ideas that will help foster better understandings towards one another.

Men are Like Rubber Bands:

Which means they like to pull away, they like to stretch out to create distance, but then they have to return - often springing back. Its the male intimacy cycle that involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again. Women don’t tend to realise this rhythm and feel distressed when the deep romance surrounding a relationship abruptly ends and when the man wishes to focus on something else. It’s a common misinterpretation because women tend to pull away for different reasons: when she doesn’t trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and fears being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

Of course a man can pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if the lady has done nothing wrong. It could purely be a male thing - the need to have space - even though he loves and trusts her. But like the stretched rubber band, he’ll come back. This need for space is like the man going into his cave: its a place of solitude, independence and autonomy. He’ll soon feel the need to spring back and automatically pick up the intimacy at whatever levels required, even just before he pulled away, without the having to go through a period of getting reacquainted again.

If properly understood, this male intimacy cycle enriches a relationship, but can cause havoc when misread and misjudged, or even mis-timed. Usually, the man can give and take less readily than the woman, so the women thinks that her man is not reciprocating her love. Women naturally give and take more readily and can easily express their sentiments. But when they don’t see this happening with the man, they misjudge him and think that there’s something wrong with him. Anxiety builds up when she tries to ‘fix’ him - that’s not what he needs…rather he wants to simply pull away to have his own breathing space: whether its in the shed, out with friends, strolling, watching a movie or reading. She continues to get frustrated when he wants to ignore her and she develops ideas that he doesn’t love her, or worse still, think that he has got someone else! A confused state of affairs soon arises.

Women should understand the need for a man to pull away. Its good for him and her (and any children). He’ll spring back with power and enthusiasm. Men however need to remember that it may be easy for them to get to intense levels of intimacy as he was before pulling back, but the woman may need to time to catch-up and re-familiarise - particularly if she’s been through a state of confusion or panic (she doesn’t know what she did to switch you off)!

It is very confusing for a woman when a man pulls away because something she says or does often triggers his departure - usually when she begins to talk about feelings. The talk of feelings creates intimacy and the man can be defensive and not open-up, hence begin to pull away. It’s not that he doesn’t care about her feelings as at another point in the intimacy cycle those same feelings will draw him closer. So its not just what she says but rather when.

When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, common symptoms are increased passiveness, moodiness, irritability and defensiveness. And the women builds a huge amount of dependency on the man that can lead to a high degree of unwarranted trust, such that if he does pull away, she feels totally dejected for ‘doing something wrong’ or misappropriating the trust. She may begin to resent him and hold bitter feelings towards him unjustifiably. When women don’t understand the male intimacy cycle, they can unknowingly obstruct it in two ways: they are (1) chasing him when he pulls away; (2) punishing him for pulling away.

Men must be sensitive to the needs of women (I’ll come on to that later) but also understand the requirement of pulling away. If timed, done well and worked with, a high degree of satisfaction can be engendered in the relationship such that the natural rhythms of both the man and woman are held to a better standard. There’s no need for guilt or blame on either side. The man needs to go to the cave every now and again, grow and become wiser….he’ll return to with a freshness that the women has longed for and will be better prepared to hear her share her feelings. The patient woman who understands this will love and trust her man, share with him as needed, and allow him to open-up in his own time without demanding it to be so.

This single insight into the male cycle that has been represented as mimicking a rubber band can replace so much confusion and unnecessary pain with that of care and understanding.

Soon we’ll take a look at how women act as waves….

For Success and Contentment,

Asad Khan

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