Hi Friend!

Been a while, but I will show you in the blogs-to-come why exactly. But in case you were getting a little down-hearted have a gift from me: The Power of Positive Thinking.

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it. Among the people who accept it, not many know how to use it effectively to get results. Yet, it seems that many are becoming attracted to this subject, as evidenced by the many books, lectures and courses about it. This is a subject that is gaining popularity.

It is quite common to hear people say: “Think positive!”, to someone who feels down and worried. Most people do not take these words seriously, as they do not know what they really mean, or do not consider them as useful and effective. How many people do you know, who stop to think what the power of positive thinking means?

The following story illustrates how this power works:
David applied for a new job, but as his self-esteem was low, and he considered himself as a failure and unworthy of success, he was sure that he was not going to get the job. He had a negative attitude towards himself, and believed that the other applicants were better and more qualified than him. David manifested this attitude, due to his negative past experiences with job interviews.

His mind was filled with negative thoughts and fears concerning the job for the whole week before the job interview. He was sure he would be rejected. On the day of the interview he got up late, and to his horror he discovered that the shirt he had planned to wear was dirty, and the other one needed ironing. As it was already too late, he went out wearing a shirt full of wrinkles.

During the interview he was tense, displayed a negative attitude, worried about his shirt, and felt hungry because he did not have enough time to eat breakfast. All this distracted his mind and made it difficult for him to focus on the interview. His overall behavior made a bad impression, and consequently he materialized his fear and did not get the job.

Adam applied for the same job too, but approached the matter in a different way. He was sure that he was going to get the job. During the week preceding the interview he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the job.

In the evening before the interview he prepared the clothes he was going to wear, and went to sleep a little earlier. On day of the interview he woke up earlier than usual, and had ample time to eat breakfast, and then to arrive to the interview before the scheduled time.

He got the job because he made a good impression. He had also of course, the proper qualifications for the job, but so had David.

What do we learn from these two stories? Is there any magic employed here? No, it is all natural. When the attitude is positive we entertain pleasant feelings and constructive images, and see in our mind’s eye what we really want to happen. This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy and happiness. The whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even the health is affected in a beneficial way. We walk tall and the voice is more powerful. Our body language shows the way you feel inside.

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Hi Dear Reader,

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”

At every stage and level of life we encounter relationships that help us to become more of who we truly need to become: a person leading a life of authentic ambition and purpose. But is this just an ideal and a fantastic thought, or is it practicable in our everyday lives?

I believe that some people are naturally gifted in dealing with other people in a way that readily breaks down barriers and helps create an air of trust. With their smooth, authentic interaction they engender mutual feelings of cooperation and dialogue and friendship is built easily. They do this without necessarily realising that they are doing anything special – and this is true of most masters in skills which they are either naturally gifted with or develop over time. Such people don’t carry any agenda’s, deploy techniques or skills, nor are they seeking any particular gain. It is the purer action of theirs that carries with it the hallmarks of sincerity and kindness that touches the other person with whom they are relating. Of course, these masters will have their share of troubles and we’ll see later how they have incorporated certain strategies at the sub-conscience level to deal with obstacles as well as difficult people and circumstances.

Yet there are many of us who struggle to get our points across at the best of times and leave meetings with feelings of distrust, doubt and false impressions. No matter how hard we try, there are things we just can’t seem to complete, tasks we can’t get done, people we upset endlessly, challenges that crop-up over and over again, and end-up with one bad encounter that leads to a souring of the mood and distraction from work all day!

As with most things in life, there are certain aspects which are inherent, internal and natural and there are other aspects that are out of direct control, unenforceable, independent. Your task should be to recognise this difference and learn to work on things that are directly under your control:

Things You Can Control

• Focus
• Self-Discipline / Time
• Behaviour & Habits
• Feelings & Intentions
• Communications Methods

Things You Don’t Control

• Other People & Their Thinking
• Their Availability (Time)
• Their Moods and States
• Their Behaviour/s & Values
• Environmental Circumstances

Even a regular glance at this list will help you to refresh the timeless aspects of things that you can control and things that you cannot. Far too often, people trip-up in their work, relationships, duties and goals because they worry too much about things that are out-of their control and don’t help themselves to grow by working on those things that are.

Here is an example for you: when you were a baby, or indeed in your mother’s womb, which aspects did you control? Did you control what others felt, how they lived, what they did or didn’t do, what happened in the society, timings, events, context, circumstances or any of the other things around you. No. You simply did what you were biologically designed to do: grow physically. But as your eyesight strengthened so did your awareness of the world. As it did, it became clearer to you that not all things are perfect, people don’t always understand what you mean, nor do you get what you want when you want it.

You also realised that certain people meant more to you than others. A special bonding with the ones who were in primary care over you led to the understanding that they can do for you as much as you liked, but then there were some expectations placed upon you that you had to deliver in accordance to. A greater realisation led you to the understanding that self-interest meant that the more you wanted to get, or do something, the more you could attempt to please others in order to obtain that objective. Without meaning to do it, you learned you could bend a situation to serve your purposes, but it just wasn’t so sure to work all the time…

Now, as an adult you know that there are several relationships at multiple levels and the fulcrum of them all is you. Your attitude and skills combined will help to foster relationships of mutual cooperation, of need, of love, of neighbourliness, of generosity and not just those of temporary convenience.

Great relationships – be they professional, social or intimate – are all dependent on one key aspect: your ability to communicate effectively, both- verbally and non-verbally. And the key to communication is having a good understanding of other people: their culture, backgrounds, context, time/stage in life, evaluating (inner-processing) styles, current priorities and commitments, pressures and challenges, etc. Of course you may not learn all of this overnight, but one Golden Formula that you can internalise now is:

“Behaviour Begets Behaviour”

If you want to achieve something with someone then carry a pure intention, a smile, and positive expectations. This will help induce into the other person the same characteristics and ensure a safer passage towards your goals. This is why the “The Magic of Relation-ships” is in understanding that a:

“A ’Relation’ is a ‘Ship’ that helps carry you to your desired destination.”

The more free and authentic you are, the greater the likelihood of achieving your aims. Not to hold other people in contempt is the surest way of freeing yourself of self-imprisonment, as the ‘ship’ won’t then travel anywhere fast!

Earlier, I said some people effortlessly get on in life as though all was made to happen for them. But as a matter of fact, we just don’t see the problems they encounter in life, work, health and relations and how they cope / respond to them. So what do they do? Well, in brief (because I want to elaborate on such aspects in future postings), they realise that relations are an asset, just as knowledge is capital, and they appreciate not only levels of authority, but also degrees of care, respect, trust and acceptance. In addition, they have a better idea of the things that are under there control and those that are not. So whether in leadership, management, at home, outdoors or at work, know the:

3 keys to Successful Relations & Happiness

1. Get a real vision of what you want and make a plan;
2. Understand what you may have to give-up to get it;
3. Take action and deal with people in the best manner possible;

Focus on the infinite possibilities of your relationships, work, life and goals. Be aware of the things that lead to distraction, worry and bitterness:

Things That Take Away Your Focus:

1. Unwarranted Fears
2. Immediate pleasures (instant gratifications) & urgency addictions
3. Other people’s demands and meddling in their affairs

“Travel Lighter, Let Go of Unwanted Concerns.”

Till next time,
For Success & Contentment,
Asad Khan

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Hi,

In my previous blog where I presented the first half of the “The Kneeling” (Chapter 45), there were some really amazing verses in connection to how God’s purpose is to care for us all. The sea (verse 13) was only one example of God’s cherishing care in making all things in nature available for the use of man, through the genius and faculties which He has given to man. We (mankind), should never forget that it is all from “as from Him”, i.e. from God. For man is God’s trustee on earth and we are here to interact with all things in a manner prescribed by Him, The Master of the Universe.

This is why we have God’s Law’s: as instruments to protect all that is good and sacred, and to deter from all that is harmful and excess. To re-iterate, God’s Laws are here for the “attainment of benefit (arabic: maslaha) and prevention of harm (mafsada)”.  This means everything related to PLEASURE & HAPPINESS and what leads to them, and everything related to PAIN & SADNESS and what causes them.

We know that most of human behaviour is determined by one of these two elements: acquiring pleasure, and deflecting pain. These motivational poles are intrinsically built into the nature of man - its hard-wired in - so that sub-consciously we are all operating by, and between, these two psychological sides.

Such an inherent Reward / Punishment scheme has been given to us a part of our faculties by our Creator. This is why He, the Great and Wise, refers to those who do good as being eternally rewarded and those who sin, or commit evil, as being eternally punished. Its really feeding the same psychological centres that we operate in at the temporal realm where we want to increase GAIN and reduce LOSS.

But our real test comes from realising this Goal of the Creator and to not cave-in to our base desires and live an unruly, rebellious life as a consequence where the greater disadvantage is against our own self, person and soul. The sinners, or those wrong their own souls, think that they are gaining advantage, or pleasure and happiness, by submitting to fleeting, instant gratifications, but in reality they are only serving-up harm against themselves. The good-doers, who obey God’s commands, are living by higher standards of prayer, charity and selfless service and although they may face hardship along the way, these are minor aspects in the grand scheme of things where they will attain peace, satisfaction and immense rewards due to their purified souls. And in this life too, they will live healthily, garner prosperous relationships, have peace of mind, and a serenity in the heart accompanied with real contentment that can only come from above, despite the material comforts that may be afforded to them.

Adhering to the commandments of God (Do’s) & abstaining from His prohibition (Don’t) is the real test and this is where man’s free will, or freedom of choice, is exercised. In all things prescribed (do) and prohibited (don’t) there is CHOICE. In all other matters and things, Pre-determination reigns.

We will pick-up on the concept of God’s Commands again and reflect on why people fail to follow them, such as nations who were previously blessed by God and they actively rebelled against him, falling into vice, confusion and folly.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

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Hi,

You know how most political divides are mainly measured across 2 major axes: the economic one and the social one. The range of issues and policies across theses two principal lines is viewed through either a lens of liberalism or conservatism. And in a very brief nut shell this creates the democratic framework around us here in the West, where you can have economic freedom with some social constraints, or social freedom with economic constraints. But you’ll be hard pressed to find both social and economic freedom / constraints bundled together.

However, there is a third central axis that in my view is more elementary and requires a careful integration into the political spectra: the Spiritual Axis. It may already be present to varying degrees as personal values, but it is not appreciated as an order, an entity and an identified need in its own right. So despite outward loyalties or disagreements on policy and law, inwardly there seems to be a disparity between personal conscience, morals and values which is reflected in the shifting tides of political debates and positions.

I’m reminded of parts of the American Declaration of Independence:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Ingrained into history, collective creed, constitution and general infrastructure is the idea that “all men are created equal”. Yet I cannot rid myself of the belief that ours is a fragmented, fractured and contradictory society, where the individual and communal strands are in constant tension, and the struggle between self-identification is underpinned by state legislature and practice. The basis of the existing creed stated above was, I like to believe, one of sincere determination to uphold higher values and ideals. But, tell me

• Who creates the law?
• Where do values come from?
• What is Truth and how is it adhered to?

Is it possible to say that when stripping away social scripting, political bias, selfish interests and peer pressure, there resides within each of us a pure form of a human being that inclines towards higher virtues and ethics? Take a scenario: what were to happen if suddenly we were all to fall victim to a massive earthquake, would we then begin to sense that indeed we we are all created equal and that the fleeting labels, status, privileges, comforts and positions that tend to comfort us otherwise can do little in the event of such major catastrophe?

Would, and can, any advancement in technology or other modern sophistication’s help prevent or avert such a calamity? I think not, it never was possible and it never will be. We are all subject to a common end which is to meet our Creator and answer for our time spent here on Earth.

God’s message in all ages has been singular and we are better positioned when using His guidance as the criterion for measuring right from wrong, truth from falsehood, fact from conjecture. In the chapter of Jonah (10) we are informed:

But most of them follow nothing but fancy: truly fancy can be of no avail against truth. Verily God is well aware of all that they do.

This Qur’an is not such as can be produced by other than God. On the contrary it is a confirmation of (revelations) that went before it, and a fuller explanation of the Book - wherein there is no doubt - from the Lord of the worlds.

The final testament completes, confirms, clarifies and corrects all former scriptures and further elucidates the one true revelation - sent by the ONE TRUE GOD in all ages.

Whist on the topic of Declaration of Independence, values and spirituality, I just want to share with you some other aspect, as I’m pressed for time at present. I’ll cover-off some other aspects with you later, particularly in relation to Ch. 10. Here’s the other part:

The “Ten Points” appear every February 12 in newspaper ads honoring Abraham Lincoln. In fact, these aphorisms are from the pen of Reverend William John Henry Boetcker (1873-1962).

* You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
* You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
* You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
* You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
* You cannot lift the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer.
* You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
* You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
* You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
* You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man’s initiative and independence.
* You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

A. Lincoln is also claimed to have written the following to his son’s school headmaster:-

“My son will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader. Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.
It will take time, I know; but teach him if you can, that a dollar earned is of far more value than five found.
Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning, steer him away from envy, if you can.
Teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Let him learn early that bullies are easiest to lick.
Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books…but also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hillside.
In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat…
[Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong.]
Teach him to be gentle with [gentle] people and tough with the tough.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone is getting on the bandwagon.
Teach him to listen to all men; but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.
Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad.
Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and to be beware of too much sweetness.
Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders, but never to put a price on his heart and soul.
Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob…and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right.
Treat him gently; but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in humankind.
This is a big order, but see what you can do. He is such a fine little fellow my son!”

Hope this helps.

For Success and Contentment,

Asad R Khan

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