“Be More & Achieve More!”

Hi Dear Reader,

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”

At every stage and level of life we encounter relationships that help us to become more of who we truly need to become: a person leading a life of authentic ambition and purpose. But is this just an ideal and a fantastic thought, or is it practicable in our everyday lives?

I believe that some people are naturally gifted in dealing with other people in a way that readily breaks down barriers and helps create an air of trust. With their smooth, authentic interaction they engender mutual feelings of cooperation and dialogue and friendship is built easily. They do this without necessarily realising that they are doing anything special – and this is true of most masters in skills which they are either naturally gifted with or develop over time. Such people don’t carry any agenda’s, deploy techniques or skills, nor are they seeking any particular gain. It is the purer action of theirs that carries with it the hallmarks of sincerity and kindness that touches the other person with whom they are relating. Of course, these masters will have their share of troubles and we’ll see later how they have incorporated certain strategies at the sub-conscience level to deal with obstacles as well as difficult people and circumstances.

Yet there are many of us who struggle to get our points across at the best of times and leave meetings with feelings of distrust, doubt and false impressions. No matter how hard we try, there are things we just can’t seem to complete, tasks we can’t get done, people we upset endlessly, challenges that crop-up over and over again, and end-up with one bad encounter that leads to a souring of the mood and distraction from work all day!

As with most things in life, there are certain aspects which are inherent, internal and natural and there are other aspects that are out of direct control, unenforceable, independent. Your task should be to recognise this difference and learn to work on things that are directly under your control:

Things You Can Control

• Focus
• Self-Discipline / Time
• Behaviour & Habits
• Feelings & Intentions
• Communications Methods

Things You Don’t Control

• Other People & Their Thinking
• Their Availability (Time)
• Their Moods and States
• Their Behaviour/s & Values
• Environmental Circumstances

Even a regular glance at this list will help you to refresh the timeless aspects of things that you can control and things that you cannot. Far too often, people trip-up in their work, relationships, duties and goals because they worry too much about things that are out-of their control and don’t help themselves to grow by working on those things that are.

Here is an example for you: when you were a baby, or indeed in your mother’s womb, which aspects did you control? Did you control what others felt, how they lived, what they did or didn’t do, what happened in the society, timings, events, context, circumstances or any of the other things around you. No. You simply did what you were biologically designed to do: grow physically. But as your eyesight strengthened so did your awareness of the world. As it did, it became clearer to you that not all things are perfect, people don’t always understand what you mean, nor do you get what you want when you want it.

You also realised that certain people meant more to you than others. A special bonding with the ones who were in primary care over you led to the understanding that they can do for you as much as you liked, but then there were some expectations placed upon you that you had to deliver in accordance to. A greater realisation led you to the understanding that self-interest meant that the more you wanted to get, or do something, the more you could attempt to please others in order to obtain that objective. Without meaning to do it, you learned you could bend a situation to serve your purposes, but it just wasn’t so sure to work all the time…

Now, as an adult you know that there are several relationships at multiple levels and the fulcrum of them all is you. Your attitude and skills combined will help to foster relationships of mutual cooperation, of need, of love, of neighbourliness, of generosity and not just those of temporary convenience.

Great relationships – be they professional, social or intimate – are all dependent on one key aspect: your ability to communicate effectively, both- verbally and non-verbally. And the key to communication is having a good understanding of other people: their culture, backgrounds, context, time/stage in life, evaluating (inner-processing) styles, current priorities and commitments, pressures and challenges, etc. Of course you may not learn all of this overnight, but one Golden Formula that you can internalise now is:

“Behaviour Begets Behaviour”

If you want to achieve something with someone then carry a pure intention, a smile, and positive expectations. This will help induce into the other person the same characteristics and ensure a safer passage towards your goals. This is why the “The Magic of Relation-ships” is in understanding that a:

“A ’Relation’ is a ‘Ship’ that helps carry you to your desired destination.”

The more free and authentic you are, the greater the likelihood of achieving your aims. Not to hold other people in contempt is the surest way of freeing yourself of self-imprisonment, as the ‘ship’ won’t then travel anywhere fast!

Earlier, I said some people effortlessly get on in life as though all was made to happen for them. But as a matter of fact, we just don’t see the problems they encounter in life, work, health and relations and how they cope / respond to them. So what do they do? Well, in brief (because I want to elaborate on such aspects in future postings), they realise that relations are an asset, just as knowledge is capital, and they appreciate not only levels of authority, but also degrees of care, respect, trust and acceptance. In addition, they have a better idea of the things that are under there control and those that are not. So whether in leadership, management, at home, outdoors or at work, know the:

3 keys to Successful Relations & Happiness

1. Get a real vision of what you want and make a plan;
2. Understand what you may have to give-up to get it;
3. Take action and deal with people in the best manner possible;

Focus on the infinite possibilities of your relationships, work, life and goals. Be aware of the things that lead to distraction, worry and bitterness:

Things That Take Away Your Focus:

1. Unwarranted Fears
2. Immediate pleasures (instant gratifications) & urgency addictions
3. Other people’s demands and meddling in their affairs

“Travel Lighter, Let Go of Unwanted Concerns.”

Till next time,
For Success & Contentment,
Asad Khan

Bookmark It

Hi,

One thing that is really important to remember when the chips are down, you are feeling over-whelmed,

Success in Goals = Short Term Action x Long Term Planning

5 steps to your Success:-

1. Think then act; sometimes spontaneity can be a good thing
2. Take Inspired action only
3. When in doubt, wait
4. Take strong action based on faith & purpose
5. Make it easier by having the right attitude

A while back, after leaving my office and arriving home, I watched a (true) movie: an innocent victim (a bit like the “Baby Killer”) where a falsely accused man of rape & triple homicide/murder was being prosecuted by the State of North Carolina. At the first trial he was sentenced based on ‘weak’ eye-witness account. In the re-trial - after being sentenced to death row - he won and was freed.

What particularly impressed me was the courage, loyalty, tenacity & determination of (a) the defendant’s father (he was his adopted son!) & (b) the defendant’s attorneys.

They worked very hard together to pull things towards a positive outcome - gaining strength, clarity, and self-belief as they progressed forwards.

There was a point when the defendant was coached by his attorneys in controlling his anger/frustration & responding well when sitting in the witness box.

Morals of the story: Human qualities such as kindness can be vast & unmeasurable & this can be awesome in winning people and circumstances. Also:-

• Never give-up, as truth prevails;
• Surround yourself with the best quality of people and strategies;
• Focus on long-term success.

Your success ultimately comes down to how you operate your mind and body. Once you get used to operating your mind in this way by altering your rules and the way in which you view the world, you will gain extra inner power to over-ride danger and ride your way to new heights. Once your mind has been expanded it cannot come back to its original size: unless you force it or allow it to.

Decide now how you which to shape your future by working with the God-given faculties and capacities inherent in you.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

Bookmark It

Hi,

I just wanted to share with you some further information on the Areas, Types and Benefits of Ark2Ark Coaching. Here are just a few of them, particularly Corporate and Business Coaching.

Corporate Coaching

Does coaching really work in the corporate environment? A recent study in the Journal of Public Personnel Management found that training improved managerial productivity 22.4% while training plus coaching improved productivity 88%.

A corporate coach takes into consideration the vision, mission and culture of an organization and the values and professional goals of an individual. The goal is to make sure that both are in alignment.

When the vision, mission and culture of an organization are in alignment with an individual’s values and professional goals, the employee is committed to the organization, more productive, effective and happier at their job. This handles the retention and productivity issues that many organizations face.

The Goals of the Corporate Coaching Culture:

• Articulate the organization’s vision, purpose, direction, strategies, major goals and actions.
• Involve/include members to acquire understanding, connection, commitment, passion and ownership.
• Align member goals, actions and expectations with those of the organization.
• Remove barriers and provide resources.
• Follow up and hold people accountable.
• Promote feedback, input and idea-sharing from members.
• Challenge and inspire the organization and its individual members to stretch for greatness.
• Develop and grow people through meaningful work.
• Increase work/career satisfaction and personal fulfilment.
• Create a positive, productive community of members who volunteer their best and fulfill their potential.

Why is the word member used instead of employee? Think about it…the word member implies a person is a part of an organization because they want to be; they understand what the organization stands for and are totally on board! This creates a win-win environment. “Win-Win” is a belief in the third alternative. It’s not your way or my way; it’s about creating a better way!

There are certain qualities a Strategic Executive Coach exemplifies:

• Desire - a true desire to help others succeed.
• Awareness - a trust in ones’ intuitiveness.
• Focus - on the individual and their challenges, in contrast to a need to ‘solve’ things for others.
• Listening - a sincere desire to truly hear what others are saying.
• People-Centricity - a deep belief that human capital is the most important asset that an organisation possesses.
• Ability to Integrate - great Strategic Executive Coaches can help ‘weave’ all of the new and improved pieces of human capital into the fabric of the organization.
• Vision - a great Strategic Executive Coach can visualise what the ‘new’ organization will look like and help others drive toward that vision.
• Confidence - the ability to perform in the ‘boardroom’ regularly.

Business Coaching

In contrast to business consultants, business coaches are relatively new. The two professions take very different approaches.

Business consultants are problem solvers. Their underlying message is, “I’m smarter than you are. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with your business and how to fix it.”

Business coaches are people developers. They don’t tell their clients what to do; they ask questions. Their message is, “You’re smart. I’ll be a mirror to help you look inside yourself, so you can not only solve this problem, but increase

• your capacity to successfully manage all areas of your life
• Business consultants typically focus on maximising profitability
• Business coaches typically focus on maximising potential
• Business consultants help their clients succeed in their jobs
• Business coaches help their clients succeed in their lives
• Business consultants help their clients catch fish, so they can eat a meal
• Business coaches help their clients learn how to fish, so they will always get meals

People come to business coaches for two reasons: inspiration and times of desperation.

Inspired people want a coach to help them do better.

Desperate people want a coach to help get them out of a jam.

The entry point in business coaching is usually a business issue. The client may want to increase sales, promote better teamwork, enhance productivity, reduce employee turnover, or improve quality. But the coaching relationship, once initiated, invariably moves beyond the initial perceived need. ‘Fix my business’ gradually and naturally evolves into ‘Help fix my thinking’.

A client facing business bankruptcy, for example, may discover through coaching that he has a problem with procrastination, or with interpersonal skills, or with fear of failure. Sometimes clients realize their interests and skills don’t match the requirements of their current positions, and they decide to make a career change. Coaching identifies inhibiting issues such as these and helps remove them, allowing buried potential to spring forth and bloom.

Why do business leaders use coaches at all? Don’t they have friends and professional colleagues to talk to? Yes, and good coaches encourage their clients to deepen these relationships and build a reliable support system. But all alternative support systems have weaknesses.

• In business, it’s lonely at the top. Managers can’t be vulnerable with their bosses or with their subordinates about the most sensitive issues.
• Friends will listen and give help when they can, but they’re not trained to identify the most significant issues. And when they have needs of their own, they want to receive help, not give it.
• Spouses can be good listeners, but it’s problematic to bring in-depth business discussions into the middle of a marriage.

As business coaching fills a real need, the profession is rapidly growing and gaining recognition and because it produces outstanding results, successful business coaches build their practices almost entirely through referrals. Ultimately, coaches want their clients to fulfil their potential and be the best they can be.

Benefits & Outcomes

We don’t just like to be paid for our time, we like to be paid for the results produced. Further, we wouldn’t just want to produce one-off results that give a good sensation and leave you, but rather to impart with knowledge and skills that will be of continued use, with enhanced awareness and sustainable change. We would like you to learn how to repeat the results consistently and peak-perform any time you wish. Having said this, new perspectives are always available and this is the reason we have repeat clients who wish to maintain their competitive, personal and social edge by coming back to us with increased willingness to learn and grow.

Executive Coaching

Simply, it’s about tangible personal and business results

Executive Coaching can help you

• Set realistic goals and achieve them
• Regain balance, control and influence
• Maximise personal potential and power
• Take more time off with family & friends
• Simplify life and get more out of choices
• Develop creative thinking and purposeful habits
• Identify major opportunities in life / business - & how to take advantage of them.

It is not un-common in companies to think that they ‘can’t measure the impact of soft/people’ related initiatives, like Executive Coaching. A company can track any initiative that they invest in and should do so with a coaching initiative. A firm can conduct a pre-coaching assessment and circle back every 6-12 months to test for progress. Looking at everything from employee retention to personal production numbers, it will be clear what effect the initiative is having.

With Ark2Ark Business Coaching you will aim higher, and with Asad Khan as your personal development coach, you can learn how to:

Double Productivity, Simplify Life and Have Time Out!

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan, PhD, MAC

Bookmark It

Usually when we are in anticipation of something it can seem like ages before anything eventful really happens. Why? Because we all want results right now. This minute. It’s got to happen now - “I’m a Professional for God’s Sake! I know how to manage People and Processes, so surely I can manage my own affairs and achieve my goals as and when I please, right!?”

Well no, not exactly. Not as we/I/you please but rather as it has been pre-ordained by the Creator. All too often we are quoted all sorts of examples of illustrious personalities who have achieved mega success at relatively tender ages or otherwise (Trump, Gates, Obama, Brin/Page-Google, et al.) but the reality behind these success is anything but normal. So we get pumped-up into thinking that if they can do it then so can I. Well its great to have such ambitions, nothing wrong with that, and its great to pick-up on points that can be modelled and integrated into your own psyche and characteristics.

But my point here is about timing rather than the nature of ambitions and personal drive. I was reading some verses from the Holy Book and I thought that I’d like to share  some of them with you to expand on this aspect:

70:19-21: “Verily man was created very impatient -fretful when evil touches him; and niggardly when good reaches him.”

You see man, according to plan of God, was created in the best of moulds (95:4). But in order to fulfil his high destiny he was given free will to a limited extent. The wrong use of this free will makes his nature impatient. That becomes his nature by his own act, but he is spoken of as so created because of the capacities given to him in his creation.

So what happens when we don’t get what we want, when we want it or how we want it? Despair, gloom and blame. But our psychology would better serve us if we were to think of higher order, patiently persevere with the times and work diligently towards the achievement of our noble personal goals. And if and when they are fulfilled, then we must not forget the share of the less fortunate ones who need assistance and support, just as we did in times of anguish.

Look at what else your Creator informs you in Chapter 41 (The Expounded):

46. Whoever works righteousness benefits his own soul; whoever works evil, it is against his own soul: nor is thy Lord ever unjust (in the least) to His Servants.

47. To Him is referred the Knowledge of the Hour (of Judgment: He knows all): No date-fruit comes out of its sheath, nor does a female conceive (within her womb) nor bring forth the Day that ((Allah)) will propound to them the (question), “Where are the partners (ye attributed to Me?” They will say, “We do assure thee not one of us can bear witness!”

48. The (deities) they used to invoke aforetime will leave them in the lurch, and they will perceive that they have no way of escape.

49. Man does not weary of asking for good (things), but if ill touches him, he gives up all hope (and) is lost in despair.

50. When we give him a taste of some Mercy from Ourselves, after some adversity has touched him, he is sure to say, “This is due to my (merit): I think not that the Hour (of Judgment) will (ever) be established; but if I am brought back to my Lord, I have (much) good (stored) in His sight!” But We will show the Unbelievers the truth of all that they did, and We shall give them the taste of a severe Penalty.

51. When We bestow favours on man, he turns away, and gets himself remote on his side (instead of coming to Us); and when evil seizes him, (he comes) full of prolonged prayer!

52. Say: “See ye if the (Revelation) is (really) from Allah, and yet do ye reject it? Who is more astray than one who is in a schism far (from any purpose)?”

53. Soon will We show them our Signs in the (furthest) regions (of the earth), and in their own souls, until it becomes manifest to them that this is the Truth. Is it not enough that thy Lord doth witness all things?

54. Ah indeed! Are they in doubt concerning the Meeting with their Lord? Ah indeed! It is He that doth encompass all things!

These verses are powerful, true and revealing. If properly understood they give immense insights into the nature of our being and help shape our reality for the better.  Weak, hasty and ungrateful is the the base nature of humans, so its only when we recognise the Source of All Goodness and rely on Him utterly to fulfil our needs that we then begin to raise our ranks to fit in with the “Best of Moulds” - as we were intended in our primary purpose. Timing, and Time itself, is in His Hands alone. No need therefore for any to fret over what others have or have not. Stick to your own personal convictions and purify them, strengthen them and work towards the fulfilment of your noble goals with the assistance of Higher Order and Grace.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

Bookmark It

It’s the one who make it inch-by-inch, step-by-step, towards their heart’s goals that make life worth living! It’s the people who are ready to sacrifice all to win those inches who stand-out as the remarkable people in our societies and who go on to help build great civilisations.

You don’t have to become famous personality or world leader, but you need to have a deep satisfaction that you have done your best with the opportunities life presents to you. That you don’t settle for anything less than your best. And that you did what you can to help fulfill others needs with your God-given talents and abilities. You helped pull it together, and the journey was made easier because of you.

Check out this Motivational Speech by Al Pacino

“In life, like football, the margin for error is small.”

“We know, when we add up all those inches….that’s gonna make the difference between winning and losing; between living and dying!”

A great coach can help make that difference clear.

In Any Given Sunday, Al-Pacino may not have put together a great philosophical speech full of high morals and virtues. But he did help a fragmented team of demoralised young footballers realise that there must be more to life than just getting old……

For Success & Contentement,

Asad Khan

Bookmark It