“Be More & Achieve More!”

Hi Dear Reader,

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”

At every stage and level of life we encounter relationships that help us to become more of who we truly need to become: a person leading a life of authentic ambition and purpose. But is this just an ideal and a fantastic thought, or is it practicable in our everyday lives?

I believe that some people are naturally gifted in dealing with other people in a way that readily breaks down barriers and helps create an air of trust. With their smooth, authentic interaction they engender mutual feelings of cooperation and dialogue and friendship is built easily. They do this without necessarily realising that they are doing anything special – and this is true of most masters in skills which they are either naturally gifted with or develop over time. Such people don’t carry any agenda’s, deploy techniques or skills, nor are they seeking any particular gain. It is the purer action of theirs that carries with it the hallmarks of sincerity and kindness that touches the other person with whom they are relating. Of course, these masters will have their share of troubles and we’ll see later how they have incorporated certain strategies at the sub-conscience level to deal with obstacles as well as difficult people and circumstances.

Yet there are many of us who struggle to get our points across at the best of times and leave meetings with feelings of distrust, doubt and false impressions. No matter how hard we try, there are things we just can’t seem to complete, tasks we can’t get done, people we upset endlessly, challenges that crop-up over and over again, and end-up with one bad encounter that leads to a souring of the mood and distraction from work all day!

As with most things in life, there are certain aspects which are inherent, internal and natural and there are other aspects that are out of direct control, unenforceable, independent. Your task should be to recognise this difference and learn to work on things that are directly under your control:

Things You Can Control

• Focus
• Self-Discipline / Time
• Behaviour & Habits
• Feelings & Intentions
• Communications Methods

Things You Don’t Control

• Other People & Their Thinking
• Their Availability (Time)
• Their Moods and States
• Their Behaviour/s & Values
• Environmental Circumstances

Even a regular glance at this list will help you to refresh the timeless aspects of things that you can control and things that you cannot. Far too often, people trip-up in their work, relationships, duties and goals because they worry too much about things that are out-of their control and don’t help themselves to grow by working on those things that are.

Here is an example for you: when you were a baby, or indeed in your mother’s womb, which aspects did you control? Did you control what others felt, how they lived, what they did or didn’t do, what happened in the society, timings, events, context, circumstances or any of the other things around you. No. You simply did what you were biologically designed to do: grow physically. But as your eyesight strengthened so did your awareness of the world. As it did, it became clearer to you that not all things are perfect, people don’t always understand what you mean, nor do you get what you want when you want it.

You also realised that certain people meant more to you than others. A special bonding with the ones who were in primary care over you led to the understanding that they can do for you as much as you liked, but then there were some expectations placed upon you that you had to deliver in accordance to. A greater realisation led you to the understanding that self-interest meant that the more you wanted to get, or do something, the more you could attempt to please others in order to obtain that objective. Without meaning to do it, you learned you could bend a situation to serve your purposes, but it just wasn’t so sure to work all the time…

Now, as an adult you know that there are several relationships at multiple levels and the fulcrum of them all is you. Your attitude and skills combined will help to foster relationships of mutual cooperation, of need, of love, of neighbourliness, of generosity and not just those of temporary convenience.

Great relationships – be they professional, social or intimate – are all dependent on one key aspect: your ability to communicate effectively, both- verbally and non-verbally. And the key to communication is having a good understanding of other people: their culture, backgrounds, context, time/stage in life, evaluating (inner-processing) styles, current priorities and commitments, pressures and challenges, etc. Of course you may not learn all of this overnight, but one Golden Formula that you can internalise now is:

“Behaviour Begets Behaviour”

If you want to achieve something with someone then carry a pure intention, a smile, and positive expectations. This will help induce into the other person the same characteristics and ensure a safer passage towards your goals. This is why the “The Magic of Relation-ships” is in understanding that a:

“A ’Relation’ is a ‘Ship’ that helps carry you to your desired destination.”

The more free and authentic you are, the greater the likelihood of achieving your aims. Not to hold other people in contempt is the surest way of freeing yourself of self-imprisonment, as the ‘ship’ won’t then travel anywhere fast!

Earlier, I said some people effortlessly get on in life as though all was made to happen for them. But as a matter of fact, we just don’t see the problems they encounter in life, work, health and relations and how they cope / respond to them. So what do they do? Well, in brief (because I want to elaborate on such aspects in future postings), they realise that relations are an asset, just as knowledge is capital, and they appreciate not only levels of authority, but also degrees of care, respect, trust and acceptance. In addition, they have a better idea of the things that are under there control and those that are not. So whether in leadership, management, at home, outdoors or at work, know the:

3 keys to Successful Relations & Happiness

1. Get a real vision of what you want and make a plan;
2. Understand what you may have to give-up to get it;
3. Take action and deal with people in the best manner possible;

Focus on the infinite possibilities of your relationships, work, life and goals. Be aware of the things that lead to distraction, worry and bitterness:

Things That Take Away Your Focus:

1. Unwarranted Fears
2. Immediate pleasures (instant gratifications) & urgency addictions
3. Other people’s demands and meddling in their affairs

“Travel Lighter, Let Go of Unwanted Concerns.”

Till next time,
For Success & Contentment,
Asad Khan

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Hi,

We all know that a true dream is not always easy to realise; it takes time, effort and persistence. We’ve spoken about adapting previously when at times things are not going to plan. Adapting is a great way of keeping the dream alive whilst you work on other things for a while. But one should not forget to work on the plans in order to bring them to fruition. Its easier to let go and walk away towards that which seems to be within grasp, yet that which is beyond the grasp always requires more - both from within and without.

The time and effort that has been put into the work should not be regarded as ‘wasted’ because its necessary to make you into what you need to be in order do what you have to do. Look at the current Prime Minister Gordon Brown as an example. He felt that he should have been the Prime Minister in 1997 rather than Tony Blair, yet he had to work as Chancellor of the Exchequer (Head of British Treasury) before he could become what he thought he deserved he ought to have been earlier. Even if he thought he was ready for it, Tony Blair was perhaps ‘better’ prepared to take on the role than Gordon was, and is..?

What’s important here is that focus must be maintained whilst the dream is transpiring. The periods of incubation, design, invention, testing etcetera are all necessary to create the backbone of the product or service that you intend to deliver as well as strengthen your own backbone!

So its worthwhile to remain steadfast on what you truly believe, to stand firmer on whats true and right for you. Otherwise, the ’slings and arrows’ of the environment will always pull and push you around. If that is something that you are happy with, or you prefer to settle for something that is routine, that’s fine, and many are. But if you want to establish something that you believe in your heart to be true, right and needed, it will require you to take a firm stand and persist. Moreover, if you believe in your dream to be inspired from the heavens, and you hold a reliance in your Creator to deliver those things that in your best interest, then all that happens in such times are aspects necessary to prepare you for the future.

Believe in yourself and your dream and stand firm. Results will follow as a product and money, recognition and other things will follow that as a by-product.

As I said, if you believe in your dream then take a stand and then get ready to take-off!! Michael Jordan knew all about standing tall, taking a stand, moving gracefully, adapting, taking off, and holding the air, all as and when necessary; “Enjoy the flight!”

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltOixu6ZZ3c - a song on "Take a stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.." ]

For Success and Contentment,

Asad Khan

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Hi,

Often we are journeying in life by attempting to achieve goals that are either reflections of deep inner dreams or ones that are temporary and easy to reach. In either case, the lack of results can lead to resentment of oneself or frustration over prevailing conditions. People then try to help improve the situation by thinking positively, being optimistic and forcing themselves to be cheerful. This can be helpful but not entirely useful. Change and Progress require more than a particular mental frame of mind alone: they need Strategies to help with the way you think, feel and order your time every single day you are alive.

Lesson 1: The first strategy is to Focus On Solutions - rather than the problems: You must believe that it is possible to change. When people get overwhelmed, often they are afraid of failure and develop an acute sense of pain. Because of this they put themselves into a state of ‘learned helplessness’ where a everything goes into a downward spiral: emotions, vision, determination, creativity etc.

The solution is in a change of Perceptions & Taking Positive Action

As a strategy:

1. Get rid of a negative belief that is holding you back: e.g the past does not equal the future
2. Clarify your mind, make a decision and stick to it.
3. Generate more personal power by having persistence in taking action

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

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Hi,

Every bit of planning, prioritizing, and organizing comes down to this simple concept.

Every great achievement of humankind has usually been preceded by a long period of hard, concentrated work until the job was complete.  Your ability to select your most important task, to begin it, and then to concentrate on it until it is finished is the key to high levels of performance and personal productivity.

By concentrating on your most important task, you can reduce the time required to complete it by 50% or more.

It has been estimated that the tendency to start and stop a task - to pick it up, put it down, and come back to it - can increase the time necessary to complete the task by as much as 500%.  This is not productive!

But when you prepare thoroughly and then begin, refusing to stop or turn aside until the job is done, you develop energy, enthusiasm, and motivation.  You get better and better and more productive.  You work faster and more effectively.

The starting point of great success and achievement has always been the same. It is for you to dream big dreams. There is nothing more important, and nothing that works faster than for you to cast off your own limitations than for you to begin dreaming and fantasizing about the wonderful things that you can become, have, and do.

As a wise man once said, “You must dream big dreams, for only big dreams have the power to move the minds of men.” When you begin to dream big dreams, your levels of self-esteem and self-confidence will go up immediately. You will feel more powerful about yourself and your ability to deal with what happens to you. The reason so many people accomplish so little is because they never allow themselves to lean back and imagine the kind of life that is possible for them.

Theory of Constraints

A powerful principle that you can use to dream big dreams and live without limits is contained in what Elihu Goldratt calls the “Theory of Constraints.” This is one of the greatest breakthroughs in modern thinking. What Goldratt has found is that in every process, in accomplishing any goal, there is a bottleneck or choke cord that serves as a constraint on the process. This constraint then sets the speed at which you achieve any particular goal.

What Goldratt found is that if you concentrate all of your creative energies and attention on alleviating the constraint, you can speed up the process faster than by doing any other single thing.

Let me give you an example. Let us say that you want to double your income. What is the critical constraint or the limiting factor that holds you back? Well, you know that your income is a direct reward for the quality and quantity of the services you render to your world. Whatever field you are in, if you want to double your income, you simply have to double the quality and quantity of what you do for that income. Or you have to change activities and occupations so that what you are doing is worth twice as much. But you must always ask yourself, “What is the critical constraint that holds me back or sets the speed on how fast I double my income?”

The 80/20 Rule in Action

A famous author and speaker tell me that: “A friend of mine is one of the highest-paid commission professionals in the United States. One of his goals was to double his income over the next three to five years. He applied the 80/20 rule to his client base. He found that 20 percent of his clients contributed 80 percent of his profits, and that the amount of time spent on a high-profit client was pretty much the same amount of time spent on a low-profit client. In other words, he was dividing his time equally over the number of tasks that he does while only 20 percent of those items contributes 80 percent of his results.

So he drew a line on his list of clients under those who represented the top 20 percent and then called in other professionals in his industry and very carefully, politely, and strategically handed off the 80 percent of his clients that only represented 20 percent of his business. He then put together a profile of his top clients and began looking in the marketplace exclusively for the type of client who fit the profile; in other words, one who could become a major profit contributor to his organization, and whom he in turn could serve with the level of excellence that his clients were accustomed to. And instead of doubling his income in three to five years, he doubled it in the first year!”

What Are Your Constraints?

So what is holding you back? Is it your level of education or skill? Is it your current occupation or job? Is it your current environment or level of health? Is it the situations that you are in today? What is setting the speed for you achieving your goal?

Remember, whatever you have learned, you can unlearn. Whatever situation you have gotten yourself into, you can probably get yourself out of. If your real goal is to dream big dreams and to live without limits, you can set this as your standard and compare everything that you do against it.

Three Keys

The three keys to living without limits have always been the same. They are clarity, competence, and concentration.

#1: Clarity

Clarity means that you are absolutely clear about who you are, what you want, and where you’re going. You write down your goals and you make plans to accomplish them. You set very careful priorities and you do something every day to move you toward your goals. And the more progress you make toward accomplishing things that are important to you, the greater self-confidence and self-belief you have, and the more convinced you become that there are no limits on what you can achieve.

# 2: Competence

Competence means that you begin to become very, very good in the key result areas of your chosen field. You apply the 80/20 rule to everything you do and you focus on becoming outstanding in the 20 percent of tasks that contribute to 80 percent of your results. You dedicate yourself to continuous learning. You never stop growing. You realize that excellence is a moving target. And you commit yourself to doing something every day that enables you to become better and better at doing the most important things in your field.

# 3: Concentration

Concentration is having the self-discipline to force yourself to concentrate in a single-minded way on one thing, the most important thing, and stay with it until it’s complete.

The two key words for success have always been focus and concentration.

Focus is knowing exactly what you want to be, have, and do. Concentration is persevering, without diversion or distraction, in a straight line toward accomplishing the things that can make a real difference in your life.

When you allow yourself to begin to dream big dreams, creatively abandon the activities that are taking up too much of your time, and focus your inward energies on alleviating your main constraints, you start to feel an incredible sense of power and confidence. As you focus on doing what you love to do and becoming excellent in those few areas that can make a real difference in your life, you begin to think in terms of possibilities rather than impossibilities, and you move ever closer toward the realisation of your full potential.

For Success & Contentment,
Asad Khan

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Hi there,

In my previous blog just below I referred to case of Provision and how the the Sustainer provides from above for us all - unconditionally. And if you really think about, and link this with my earlier blog dated October 15th (2008), it’s all a lesson for those of us who will, for a moment, just stop, pay attention to Higher Order, and let feelings of gratefulness emit for what there is, rather than worrying about what there isn’t.

Yesterday I was feeling totally out of it (because of cold syptoms) and was considering flying off to an exotic place in the sun for a change. What, with the idea of sun, sea, sand and palm trees, it was a tempting image not easy to remove from my minds eye. And I might ask a friend or two to join me on the excursion so we could enjoy some good times, laughter and perhaps adventure. It was a plausible idea and it swept me from my work the instant it penetrated my head. Wow! I could escape away from this grey and rather murky weather and go to swim in warm waters, walk along soft sand and take in some deeps breaths of fresh air and look up to a blue spotless sky. I haven’t done this in a while and it may be just what my physiology needs. Then, as always, I snapped out of it; “not yet as I’ve got quit a bit on” I thought and the former picture soon faded away. Instead, I tidied my desk, left the office and drove home through the rain to have a lemsip prepared for me by my wife.

This was something I was very grateful for and as much as I’d like to have escaped, I was deeply comforted by the care offered to me. In fact, it removed any former notion of getting away for a fortnight as I knew this kind of care wouldn’t necesarily be on hand - unless I took her with me…

But this is the point I wanted to bring forward as news continues to get hurled at us about the global financial crisis amongst other things: that despite the various kinds of issues and challenges that we may be facing, let’s not forget the crucial element of appreciating the ‘finer’ things in life. You know, the ability to communicate, engage, relate, connect, think, imagine, feed, clothe, travel and all such beautiful things. The list is literally endless as we can highlight so many aspects that we can, if we decide to pay heed to them, begin to count as blessings and become more certain about how we decide to live our life.

When we develop our spiritual ken, we begin to understand the inter-relatedness of many things. Sure life can get awkward from time to time, as I’ve said before, but its not what’s out there that’s going to increase the quality of our lives, it’s what’s within. Have you ever considered that in a moment your eyesight may be removed, you may have a tragic accident, you may lose someone you feel deeply connected to, or you may not enjoy the level of creature comforts that you once had? But whatever the uncontrollable changes that life teases us with, the better, stronger and wiser amongst realise that the causes and effects that we are all part of are just a means of testing our inner worth and the sense of choice.

Of course we have to make adjustments to cater for the extraordinary circumstances, but how do we keep ourselves from despairing, ‘losing the rag’ (so to speak) or simply wanting to escape? We need to develop our personal mission and remain true to it. What’s more, we need to give ourselves the time to reflect and cultivate an eye of veneration in order to understand the timeless truths of life and the boundless beauty of the universe around us. We then need to connect back to the basics of relationships and appreciate the often neglected aspects of friendship and companionship and fulfil the rights towards to one another.

We can help ourselves to get grounded and reach the inner core of our existence and shift to place of surity. Remember the following taken from page 63 of the MPPPL workbook:-

“Behold! In the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alteration of the night and day; in the sailing of the ships across the ocean for the profit of mankind; in the rain which God sends down form the skies, and the life which gives therewith to an earth that is dead; in the beasts of all kinds that He scatters through the earth; in the change of the winds, and the clouds that are trailed between the sky and the earth - there are indeed signs for the wise” (2:164)

From the difficulties surrounding us at various levels, the sure reality is that we have more going for us than we tend to appreciate. This is how can shift the pattern of self-detriment to fulfilment and contentment. Inevitably, we have to do more to fine tune the inner vision. How can you do this you ask? Don’t delay and get the MPPPL Workbook from the Ark2Ark site.

Also, don’t forget the next seminar on the 18th December, The Magic of Relationships. More on that a little later, but book early to avoid disappointment.

For Success and Contentment

Asad Khan

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..then this is the time to take stock of some of the most important things in life, such as your:

• time and energy;
• talent and creativity;
• intellectual and rational abilities;
• health - sight, hearing, sensing, feelings;
• relationships with family, friends, neighbours and colleagues;
• opportunities to contribute back to others and the greater good.

We can choose to between doom and gloom or live by a sense of certainty that we are created for a purpose - a purpose that extends way beyond credit crunches, looming threats of recession and talks of depression. I know that it may be difficult for some of us to come to terms with, especially if we consider that collectively we’ve probably had one of the most prosperous times in history. Suddenly we are faced with prospects of losing our life savings, the quality of life we’ve built over the years, the business plans we intended to conduct and carry through, and possibly the roof over our heads. This is bad news at any rate.

But if we always fell foul of external pressures without relying on inner conviction that things would turn around for the better then anyone could easily fall prey to depression. Apart from some of the practical measures that need to be taken in such times like cost-reduction programmes, re-cycling and waste-control, energy-saving action and programmes, mutual co-operation (financially and otherwise), we also need to remember the things (listed above) that we would normally take for granted.

This helps to get a grounding on the essentials of life: what can be more important than your time, health and the ability to reason so that you can cancel the negative vibes around you, as well as those inside of you, and then focus your energies on being innovative, caring, daring and productive?

We all know that the mind can play tricks with us - making us shape a perception of circumstances that are not true. This can happen through exaggerations, distortions, deletions and negations. Similarly, our emotions can work us up no end too: hopelessness, anger, humiliation, frustration, anxiety, stress etc. One can see how fear and panic can quickly set-in leading one to live a life of denial, laziness, blame and regret.

Amongst the best ways to combat this is to ‘rebuild your plane’ so you can fly high. For this you’ll need two special wings (a) The Wing of Gratitude: be grateful for all the things that you have accomplished to date. Be grateful for all the things that you have acquired: knowledge, insights, relationships, inner and outer resources, skills, experiences and values. Being grateful is a huge resource any person can have and deploy in a moment to give an instant boost to the morale and general well-being. Negative vibes and thinking can easily be swept away when we concentrate on things that have gone right in our lives and being thankful for having life, time and energy to do more good. Being grateful helps you add colour to issues and events, it changes the emotional state and grants you greater power and resources to face the future: in short, it helps you to create a totally different experience and grasp a greater meaning of life.

But once you are attempting to get things back on track be sure that life has a tendency to throw things at you again only to try you, to tease you and ultimately, to test you. Here’s when you’ll need (b) The Wing of Patience: - there’s no point in trying to rush the ascent if you’re only going to topple over and fall down - head first, nose diving. We know how gratifying it can be when we demonstrate patience and not allow pettiness or frustrations to rule us. Being patient can afford us enormous advantage that cannot be bought at any price. It is like the master key to all doors - it will lend itself to helping you get pass any challenging door that seems to block your way to peace, security and success.

Remeber also the 3 keys that successful leaders deploy in times of hardship and crisis:

1. Don’t see things worse than they are;
2. See them as they are and the advantages within them;
3. Do somethings purposeful: be pro-active and take positive, purposeful action

Wrenching-up the nuts and bolts to fit these two wings onto to your plane requires careful, deliberate and step-wise action. And so Ark2Ark is here to help you through with the tailored Training Seminars and the Personal Coaching service.

I can say without question that these two elements of Patience and Gratitude, if practiced well, are a panacea: a universal remedy for almost all mental, emotional and spiritual dis-eases - and dare I say, probably certain physical ones too!

Well, till next time take care and look forward to a brighter future.

For Success and Contentment,

Asad Khan

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