“Be More & Achieve More!”

Hi,

I thought it would be good for you to know a little bit more about me and the the background to Ark2Ark Training & Coaching. So here’s the summary interview of my bio submitted to a local business magazine:

For over 14 years Asad Khan has been providing strategic leadership to individuals, groups, corporations, organisations and government agencies.

Asad Khan (PhD) has blue-chip corporate experience working alongside some of the world’s top scientist in the Research and Development Headquarters of the Pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline. He has been a consultant on technology and knowledge commercialisation projects to public institutions both governmental (Dept. of Trade and Industry, Regional Development Agencies, Local Authorities, etc.) and non-governmental (Academia) with Angle Technology Ltd. He has worked with Islamic Relief, an International Relief & Development NGO and through them, was involved in early post-war reconstruction work in Iraq in late 2003, as well as setting-up offices in Johannesburg, South Africa. He also has extensive experience of working with a variety of people and groups in voluntary capacities and has engaged in a number of projects that have impacted local communities.

Asad Khan has learnt powerful strategies, tools and techniques that can help people to evaluate their personal, professional and public pursuits in life. He works in ways which can help identify a person’s real talents, values and ambitions. Further, he can help crystallise these internal drivers and transmute them into solid plans so they create a compelling future in which the true life goals and purpose are being realised. No matter which level of standards one is currently living at, he believes there is every potential for personal growth with maximisation of ones abilities. He has the motivation and ingenuity to dispel fears and limiting belief patterns that hold people back from higher achievement and helps galvanise the forces that thrust their personal energies into desired directions. Commenting on his vision behind creating Ark2Ark Training & Coaching he says:

“I knew my strengths were always in thought-leadership, communication and resource mobilisation. It hit me right in my heart that such people skills were high on my personality listing. My job is to help discern the meaning behind events people face and get them into positive action, a mode of fulfilment and a commitment to higher levels of self-determination and actualisation. It upsets me to know that talented people can stroll through life only to reach a point of understanding where they query ‘Is this all there is?’ I want to shift this point of realisation to an earlier stage so that there is time to turn potential regrets into sources of inspiration and beneficial action.”

He has trained with world-class leaders in the field of personal development who have used their talents in transforming the lives of millions around the globe – both as individuals and corporate/organisation members including Anthony Robins, Paul McKenna and Christopher Howard as well as in-depth study of Stephen Covey’s work. He has, over the years, steadily built his own understandings and added his personal dimensions to the field. When asked about his route into strategic self-leadership coaching, he responded:

“We simply don’t give ourselves the chance to understand how we work; what makes us tick; how to get centred and look on the inside; how to grow to a level which enables us to let go of inconsequential things; how to appreciate the finer aspects of relationships and to expand our minds and hearts to embrace both minor or major matters of importance. Throughout the years I have gone through ‘traditional routes of progression’ in academia and professional endeavours only to realise that something deep was missing: a sense of self-belief and living on my purpose with true passion & contentment.”

His desire to break from monotony and social configuration led him through a period of self-analysis and reflection. Perhaps this is his key distinction – that he has personally walked through this process for himself and now supports other leaders and high achievers to step-up their game:

“I took a break from it all and threw everything I had into working out what the meaning of my life’s work was to be. I have to tell you this because despite being what appeared to be a rising professional, I knew that complacency and self-limiting beliefs would get in the way of my fulfilment and I had to ‘step out of the box’ - my comfort zone - in order to reflect and develop plans. See, initially I climbed the corporate & social ladder as a rising star tends to; then I came down a few rungs. And now I’ve gone back-up with greater perspectives. I can confidently say that I know what it means to be in the dark; be mediocre; settle for the ordinary; get socially, or corporately, scripted and even get pre-occupied with matters of insignificance. Conversely, I now also know what it means to be enlightened; be emboldened; be empowered; be energised to take risk and discover new potential both within and around me.”

His experiences are far-ranging and contain the depth necessary to have insights into the developing strategies that help people shift into more resourceful, enlightened, balanced states of being. He’s often been questioned as to why he’s so passionate about working with people to develop higher standards, regain balance and work their edge, for which he replies:

“I’ve had times when I’ve seen top-ranking professionals just crumble under the enormous pressure they face without knowing what had happened. For instance, a middle-aged professor in a leading university was having an intense period in his work routine with all sorts of deadlines looming concerning proposals, contracts, company listing, patents etc. as well as strife within his team. He was arriving early to his office and leaving late – sometimes very late, in order to meet the deadlines. This continued over a number of months and there seemed to be no end to the amount of things he had to attend to, including more deadlines. Consequently, he faced the unimaginable: his wife wanted to divorce him and take their 3 children with her. He had got to a stage where there was an imbalance in his routine with a lack of priority of things. He had the best of intentions that led him to work flat-out but without recognising the negative consequences on his personal health and relationships. Not only did he lose his family, but some of his senior members of staff also left and the once ‘high priority’ work that he’d spent long hours on had now collapsed. The point of the matter here is that important work will always be around, as I said to him, but that it mustn’t overtake our bearings and sense of balance, principles and time such that our various roles and activities are adversely affected. I know there are people who are silently suffering from lack of clarity and conviction to their innate nature - which is the root-cause of incongruence. But with the right support things can be adjusted so that a person is re-aligned and centred.”

Asad Khan is known for his talents and abilities, and they are apparent for all to see who engage with him and allow an air of honesty and opportunity to exist around them – which he helps create if there is an unconscious resistance to this. He has witnessed radical transformations in individuals who were formally living a filtered, scripted and constrained life. Complete turnarounds in their views, perspectives, directions and course of actions have been achieved with his interventions and assistance. He has also been noted to energise and captivate audiences with his presence, moving presentation and thought-provoking analysis. When asked about publishing his thoughts and experiences, he says:

“I’ve started drafting some pages and intend to publish a book in the next couple of years, but for now I’d like you to understand this: our life is but a summation of our choices and what, and more importantly how, we decide to act now will determine the quality of our lives in the future and ultimately our destiny. I’m currently busy working with people to re-align with their authentic self and a book will happen when the time is right. However, a workbook is available. Ark2Ark Training & Coaching is a continuation of a desire and it won’t stop here; there’s plenty more to come. At this moment, I’m giving my all to this and I’d like to offer you a little food for thought in what I believe form The 7P’s of Incredible Psychology. I’ll be writing about these in more details in the forth-coming book, but readers are requested to sign-up to the regular newsletters for further details and meanings behind the 7P’s as well as other gems.”

PURPOSE - PASSION - PERFORMANCE - PRODUCTIVITY - PROGRESS - POWER - PEACE

“And I’d just like to add that there is already a lot of success, achievement and blessing in one’s life but we need to pay careful attention to understand the thread between them and their possible meaning. When we do have challenges, when we dip, it’s usually for a reason – life wants to help us grow and learn new perspectives. But the tragedy is when we don’t pay heed to these pointers and we continue on regardless of whether we have good fortune or misfortune. Ark2Ark Training & Coaching was set-up to act on the hearts and minds of talented people to guide their inner thoughts and feelings; but not just to inform, rather to transform.”

Go ahead and order your Workbook and view the Training Brochure for all courses and you can book onto the Seminars here.

Why not Asad call for a free half-an hour coaching session and see the what the power of coaching can do for you. Call me on +44 (0)161 860 77 77.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

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Dear Reader,

We can all feel tremendous at times - especially when winter begins to fold away and the sun begins to beam through - a special force residing within shapes our thinking and changes the mood that permeates our choices and course of actions. With this, we begin to talk differently, the walking alters, the lighter dress colours are adopted, we hang outside with others more and generally we begin to look forwards towards completing our day.

There are other times however when no matter how light and bright it may be outside, we still feel rotten inside because we cannot let go of the past winter that hemmed us in. Why? Does the weather have complete control on how we think, feel and behave? You will probably agree with me and say “no, of course it doesn’t”.

Then what is the force that gets altered so much so as to make us feel ecstatic in one moment yet miserable another? That force is the spirit that resides within us all - the mighty spirit that is coupled to our indispensable soul. Now its not so much of ‘it’ getting altered itself, but rather how we relate with it from moment-to-moment, task-to-task, goal-to-goal.

So you see, I’m not talking about the condition of the weather outside and how it affects our mood, although this is true. I’m talking about our ability to change the ‘weather’ on the inside at will. This can be done and mastered. Its just a matter of practice. There are certain handles on how it can be managed and related to so that you can optimise your feelings and ability to do things to a greater standard -  as and when you please - regardless of the weather outside!

One such handle is to know what you want.

What is it that you are trying to do or achieve?

What are your short/mid/long-term aims?

Have you broken these down aims into manageable steps?

And most importantly, what do they mean to you?

Soon I’ll share with you some more important aspects on how to work this spiritual force to help get great results in every department of your life.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

Further Information on this topic is available in the free sample chapter of the MPPPL Personal Development Workbook available at the main Ark2Ark Training & Coaching site under the Free Items tab .

Are you a Champion? Then you have to Work the Edge…

“Champions aren’t made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina; they have to be a little faster; they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.” M Ali, 3 times heavyweight champion of the World.

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…like waves? Well, you are now familiar from the post below how men have an intimacy cycle, one that most men don’t seem to understand, let alone women they are attached to. But that’s the trick here: to pick-up key ideas and tools that help create a greater self-awareness and insights into fulfilling your inherent potential that you have been born with. We don’t all have the necessary skills to lead a perfect life and to grapple each issue that life challenges us with ease and grace, but if we hone our skills - communication, confidence, thinking, relationships, networking, and others, then I ‘m sure you’ll agree that we move closer to fulfilling that potential rather leaving it dormant.

So, as the man begins to understand his own cycle and reassures the women when he pulls away that he will be back, it helps more so with the women’s wave mood: she feels high when acknowledged, loved and appreciated - her self-esteem rises when she’s feeling good about herself. But when she’s not, the peak turns downwards and the wave crashes down. This crash is temporary however and automatically her wave will begin to rise.

A woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is usually a reflection of how she is feeling about herself. When not feeling as good about herself, she is unable to be as accepting and appreciative of her partner. At her down times, she tends to be feel frustrated and more emotionally reactive. At the time when her wave is at the bottom, she is vulnerable and in need of more love. When the man understands this, he can give her what she needs and not make unreasonable demands. Rather, she might want some quality time, a little breathing space and typically the need to talk about her problems, to be heard and understood. This tendency of the woman coming down is like her going into her ‘well’ where she is sinking into her unconscious self to do some ‘mental & emotional house-cleaning’. But if she is supported and cared for whilst at the bottom, she will soon rise back again to share her love in her relationships.

A common mistake men make is to think that once she is high she can remain there forever. Not so lucky guys! Listen, just as you need to retreat and pull back to have intimacy, women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others. It just like the 4 seasons, you don’t get hot summer all the year round! Life, like the seasons, moves in rhythms and merge seamlessly into one another. So when a women is having an emotional winter, love and support her so that she can move into spring and to the shiny summer sooner where she can radiate her full love to you. Both men and women have such love rhythms and its important to reflect them back to each other, as they do not necessarily coincide in a timely fashion.

So how can a man help his wife to rise back? Firstly, by not attempting to ‘fix’ her. See, its one thing a women having to go into her well to tidy her emotional clutter whilst being supported, but its another if she’s told that she needs to be ‘fixed’! When this happens you know what to expect: a row and a bust-up. I know how we men like to look for solutions to fix problems, but as has been mentioned repeatedly, the woman needs to be heard. Her talking about her issues, however mundane they may appear to you, are her way of healing and you can expect her to become more upset if you do truly listen to her. Let her express, vent and clear-up because she’ll feel lighter for it as this will help her to release the baggage and rise up.

To support a woman when she is in her well is a special talent and benefit that will help the relationship move through the years and seasons without you even noticing it as such. Just remember, the likelihood of issues being repeated whilst she’s in her ‘well’ are high. They may be deep issues, old issues, repeated issues, or whatever the flavour of the day happens to be. Whatever it is, the man will do good to help validate her feelings whenever she’s gone down to her ‘well’. He may never resolve the issue, or ‘fix’ it, but the essence of the support is in his giving time, space and appreciation to her feelings. He, nor her, ought to ever think that he is at fault for her going into her ‘well’. Nor is he a failure for not resolving the issues regardless of how many times they may reoccur. Again, its about providing the safety for her to express and for him to validate her feelings.

So men who support their women intelligently and patiently reap the most reward for the woman is comforted by the idea of having a man who understands her well enough for her to trust and relate to.

I hope this insight helps add to the conveniences of our natural relationships so that the true beauty of the otherness in the significant other is sought, harnessed and matured.

For Success and Contentment,

Asad

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Hi there,

The Magic of Relationships seminar is coming up on the 18th December. To get us started, allow me to share with you some ideas that will help foster better understandings towards one another.

Men are Like Rubber Bands:

Which means they like to pull away, they like to stretch out to create distance, but then they have to return - often springing back. Its the male intimacy cycle that involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again. Women don’t tend to realise this rhythm and feel distressed when the deep romance surrounding a relationship abruptly ends and when the man wishes to focus on something else. It’s a common misinterpretation because women tend to pull away for different reasons: when she doesn’t trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and fears being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

Of course a man can pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if the lady has done nothing wrong. It could purely be a male thing - the need to have space - even though he loves and trusts her. But like the stretched rubber band, he’ll come back. This need for space is like the man going into his cave: its a place of solitude, independence and autonomy. He’ll soon feel the need to spring back and automatically pick up the intimacy at whatever levels required, even just before he pulled away, without the having to go through a period of getting reacquainted again.

If properly understood, this male intimacy cycle enriches a relationship, but can cause havoc when misread and misjudged, or even mis-timed. Usually, the man can give and take less readily than the woman, so the women thinks that her man is not reciprocating her love. Women naturally give and take more readily and can easily express their sentiments. But when they don’t see this happening with the man, they misjudge him and think that there’s something wrong with him. Anxiety builds up when she tries to ‘fix’ him - that’s not what he needs…rather he wants to simply pull away to have his own breathing space: whether its in the shed, out with friends, strolling, watching a movie or reading. She continues to get frustrated when he wants to ignore her and she develops ideas that he doesn’t love her, or worse still, think that he has got someone else! A confused state of affairs soon arises.

Women should understand the need for a man to pull away. Its good for him and her (and any children). He’ll spring back with power and enthusiasm. Men however need to remember that it may be easy for them to get to intense levels of intimacy as he was before pulling back, but the woman may need to time to catch-up and re-familiarise - particularly if she’s been through a state of confusion or panic (she doesn’t know what she did to switch you off)!

It is very confusing for a woman when a man pulls away because something she says or does often triggers his departure - usually when she begins to talk about feelings. The talk of feelings creates intimacy and the man can be defensive and not open-up, hence begin to pull away. It’s not that he doesn’t care about her feelings as at another point in the intimacy cycle those same feelings will draw him closer. So its not just what she says but rather when.

When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, common symptoms are increased passiveness, moodiness, irritability and defensiveness. And the women builds a huge amount of dependency on the man that can lead to a high degree of unwarranted trust, such that if he does pull away, she feels totally dejected for ‘doing something wrong’ or misappropriating the trust. She may begin to resent him and hold bitter feelings towards him unjustifiably. When women don’t understand the male intimacy cycle, they can unknowingly obstruct it in two ways: they are (1) chasing him when he pulls away; (2) punishing him for pulling away.

Men must be sensitive to the needs of women (I’ll come on to that later) but also understand the requirement of pulling away. If timed, done well and worked with, a high degree of satisfaction can be engendered in the relationship such that the natural rhythms of both the man and woman are held to a better standard. There’s no need for guilt or blame on either side. The man needs to go to the cave every now and again, grow and become wiser….he’ll return to with a freshness that the women has longed for and will be better prepared to hear her share her feelings. The patient woman who understands this will love and trust her man, share with him as needed, and allow him to open-up in his own time without demanding it to be so.

This single insight into the male cycle that has been represented as mimicking a rubber band can replace so much confusion and unnecessary pain with that of care and understanding.

Soon we’ll take a look at how women act as waves….

For Success and Contentment,

Asad Khan

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