“Be More & Achieve More!”

Dear Reader: Hi,

It’s been a while since I wrote here to you but as you know well by now, the world has seen some immense changes taking place this year and most surprisingly, or perhaps not really, these have been across the Middle East. The Middle East has traditionally been a historical place of significance due the constant line of God’s good Messengers appearing through-out the region over the centuries; it occupies the middle portion of the Earth, and of recent times contains within it the troublesome spot of Israel.

The Future Does Not Equal The Past, Does it?

Ever since man was created, the Angels questioned the Creator about the bloodshed and mischief that would be manifest due the actions of man. Almighty God, the Greatest, replied “I know that which you do not” (Final Testament, Chapter 2:30). God knew that He had created a being that was capable of bringing the forces of nature under his control – so long as he acted aright and with full reliance in his Maker. And so man was set on Earth to fulfil the noble mission of this stewardship: to ensure that the environment, nature, and all people co-exist peacefully with due rights and consideration given to all such elements.

But man was created in a complex fashion – his mind, heart, body and inner-self would be in constant flux and imbalance, with passions and desire often getting the better than reason and intellect; with negative attitudes such as arrogance, greed and envy getting the better of virtues like humility, charity and forgiveness. This battle of the inner and outer forces of man are the very basis of his ‘testing period’ here on Earth, as God, the Almighty states “He created life and death in order to test which of you is best in deed” (67:2).

The crowning glory of every man is to be successful on the The Great Day when he will be held responsible for all his thoughts, intentions, feelings, motives and actions. There will be no escaping from the Accountability of Almighty God in His Great Court – all of a person’s life will be laid bare – his own limbs, emotions and motives will give evidence to testify either for or against him. Successful will be the man who earns God’s grace That Day and successful will be the ones whose balance of good is weightier than his bad deeds.

‘Islamic’ Awakening of an individual can only occur when every person realises his and her own personal duty towards themselves, their neighbours and society, towards nature and the environment, and ultimately towards God. This realisation will lead to a heightened level of personal honour and a sense of nobility – that he has been created by God “Then He (God) fashioned him in due proportion, and breathed into him a spirit from us (the soul)” (32:9). This realisation combined with an attitude of accountability will help create an atmosphere of responsibility and due care.

Every child, mother and person knows what it means to act with love, care, kindness, patience and understanding. These virtues are recognised the world over as they are a part of God’s nature: as all good belongs to Him, emanates from Him, and returns to Him alone. We, who call ourselves as Muslims – who wish to lead an Islamic life – need to be more aware of when our passions and evil forces are attempting to make us act contrary to the higher virtues, values and characteristics. We need to understand that our benevolence, grace and compassion are much greater at winning the ‘game of life’ than when we exercise our lesser selves – acting with anger or irrationality will only debase our own credibility, it goes against our moral nature, and is not befitting for our purer soul.

In this way, Awakening occurs precisely due to Awareness: the keys to this awareness are many, but to mention some important ones here (a) every person has to increase their knowledge of life, the truth of this world, and the grand scheme of God; (b) they ought to ensure that they use the ‘aql (intellect), which has been bestowed upon humans to differentiate them from other living entities, working for the greater good through beneficial innovation, functioning within the framework of God’s Law; (c) to retain a healthy level of critical thinking, to have an attitude of curiosity, and to question openly the norms of our times, life, history and nature.

As well as this personal responsibility given to every man, there is an added responsibility upon the leaders of every nation to help ‘navigate mankind’s ship to a safe and prosperous destination’; as Muslims, we believe this is the fulfilment of the soul’s yearning – to be in proximity with its Creator. On Earth, we are guided to seek this divine proximity through prayer, devotion, positive contribution, self-sacrifice and charity. There is not a person on Earth who will not recognise a genuine act of kindness, care or charity. We must give more back than we take, if man is to reach the heights that have been destined for him.

In Surah Al-Ma‘ida (The Table Top, Chapter 5 of the Final Testament, The Holy Quran) we read:

15. O people of the Book! There has come to you our Messenger, revealing to you much that you used to hide in the Book, and passing over much (that is now unnecessary).

16. There has come to you from Allah a (new) light and a perspicuous Book - wherewith Allah (God) guides all who seek His good pleasure to ways of peace and safety, and leads them out of darkness, by His will, unto the light - guiding them to a path that is straight.

17. In blasphemy indeed are those that say that Allah is Christ the son of Mary. Say: “Who then has the least power against Allah, if His will were to destroy Christ the son of Mary, his mother, and all every - one that is on the earth? For to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and all that is between. He creates what He pleases. For Allah has power over all things.”

18. (Both) the Jews and the Christians say: “We are sons of Allah, and his beloved.”
Say: “Why then does He punish you for your sins? Nay, you are but men - of the men he has created: He forgives whom He pleases, and He punishes whom He pleases: and to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and all that is between: and unto Him is the final goal (of all)”

19. O People of the Book! Now has come unto you, making (things) clear unto you, Our Messenger, after the break in (the series of) our apostles, lest you should say: “There came unto us no bringer of glad tidings and no warner (from evil)”: But now has come unto you a bringer of glad tidings and a warner (from evil). And Allah has power over all things.

When we wish to understand world events, we cannot really dissociate the spiritual dimension from the physical one, as this will only lead to a lesser understanding of causes and effects. As believers in God’s Message, His Book and His Messengers, we must trust in His Judgement and Wisdom at all times: that He is ultimately The One Who controls all affairs and to Him is our final return. Despite confusion, turmoil, politicking, double standards, negation of rights, injustices, propaganda, subjugation, oppression, denial of truths and fairness, we must remember that “Allah has power over all things.”

Much can be said about the world events and current ‘Islamic Awakening’ but the central point, as it always is, is about higher matters of fairness, justice and trust in God, His Commandments and His Order. Herein lies the ‘test’ referred to earlier, of not only every individual, but of also the nations and states that constitute such people and races. God’s mercy and bounties are distributed freely – imagine for a moment that there are now over seven billion people inhabiting the Earth, and still there is more than sufficient food, water, shelter and clothing to for all. Truly, “Allah has power over all things.”

When people are taken away from this central point of acting in accordance to God’s commands, they rely on their own senses and faculties alone – perceiving that their strengths and judgments are greater than any other. This only happens when a person, or a people, who are depending on God’s mercy anyway to live on this Earth of His, begin to consciously deny God as the rightful Owner, Creator, Provider and Master of the Universe. Steeped in self-indulgence, the luxuries and comforts surrounding them dull their spiritual senses and arrogance, false pride and jealousy take over. This arrogance leads to corruption and abuse of power, which in turn leads to acts of greed and monopolisation.

Greed, Envy, Corruption and Over-Consumption

This is precisely how the rulers and dictators in the Middle East region have been behaving over the past 40 to 50 years or so. They are no different to a dictator from any other region of the world, as the nature of a dictator is the same whichever country he maybe ruling: to rule with tyranny and disregard of basic freedoms of speech, consultations, debates and democratic processes. But sometimes, it can be argued that a people bring to power such dictators, or rulers, as they themselves deserve: its a two-way process. Let us continue with Surah Al-Maida and hear what Allah instructs us:

20. Remember Moses said to his people: “O my people! Call in remembrance the favour of Allah unto you, when He produced prophets among you, made you kings, and gave you what He had not given to any other among the peoples.

21. “O my people! Enter the holy land which Allah has assigned unto you, and turn not back ignominiously, for then will you be overthrown, to your own ruin.”

22. They said: “O Moses! In this land are a people of exceeding strength: Never shall we enter it until they leave it: if (once) they leave, then shall we enter.”

23. (But) among (their) Allah-fearing men were two on whom Allah had bestowed His grace: They said: “Assault them at the (proper) Gate: when once you are in, victory will be yours; But on Allah put your trust if you have faith.”

24. They said: “O Moses! While they remain there, never shall we be able to enter, to the end of time. Go you, and thy Lord, and fight you two, while we sit here (and watch).”

25. He said: “O my Lord! I have power only over myself and my brother: so separate us from this rebellious people!”

26. Allah (God) said: “Therefore will the land be out of their reach for forty years: In distraction will they wander through the land: But sorrow you not over these rebellious people.

The Children of Israel were granted manifest bounties from God, not least the land, opportunity to thrive, power, provisions, free-trade, commerce, travel and security. But they abused their position and became weak-hearted after Moses led them away from the bondage of Pharaoh towards Mount Sinai. Clearly they had rebelled, which led to their own ruin. Rather than working for their own inheritance and future with faith and courage, they relied on Moses and his God to turn out the enemy first. In God’s law, we must work and strive for what we wish to enjoy.

This passage of events is not only referred to in the Final Testament (The Quran), but also in the Old Testament in the Book of Numbers, where we are informed how Moses sent a group of 12 men to examine the land North of Sinai. They came back with reports of “a land with milk and honey” – a rich country full of delights like pomegranates, figs, olives and grapes. Joshua (who took the leadership of the Israelites after the “forty years of wandering.”) and Caleb were the only ones amongst the twelve men who reported back positively.

However, the remaining ten men reported badly of strong men – the great stature of the Canaanites – in the new land, and this further inflamed the crowd, who were prepared to stone Moses, Aaron, Joshua and Caleb, and return back to Egypt. Their reply to Moses was full of irony, insolence, blasphemy and cowardice. In effect they said: “You talk of your God and all that – go with your God and fight there if you like – we shall sit here and watch.” The people of Israel had no faith, nor courage, and Moses remonstrated with them.

A New Approach Needed?

Is it a striking co-incidence that the people across the Middle East and Asia have suffered an almost similar fate as the Israelites over the past 40 years or so? Could it be said that the people across the region in general became weak-hearted, lost faith and courage and were left to wander in distraction for this period? Libya has been ruled by a dictator for forty two years, and Syria an equivalent time – so too in Yemen, Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Morocco and many other countries where authoritative regimes have been ruling autocratically.

But now the people are re-inventing themselves and saying a resilient “no!” to dictatorship, authoritative rule and brutal regimes. Using technology, combined with the spirit and dynamism of youth, strengthened with values of fairness, equality, truth and transparency, people are rising to make unprecedented changes sweeping the whole region. No-one had any idea that this would happen the way it has in such a short span of time. This is why it is important to refer back to Scripture/s to see the events through the spiritual lens and put such aspects into proper historical context and reading.

We like to believe that now there seems to be a ‘new approach’ towards self-expression that is helping to re-balance the power struggle in the Middle East and across the World. The vibrancy of the recent ‘Arab Spring’ is having effect in places further outside of the Middle East, such as sub-Saharan Africa, Europe (Spain, Greece, Turkey), South Russia and Latin America. It could be said that the current uprisings have their seeds in the recent events of the Intifada in Palestine and the Islamic Revolution in Iran, both inspired by spiritual leaders like Sheikh Ahmed Yassin and Imam Khomeini, respectively. Every part of the world has deep history and pages can be written about them – about Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Malaysia, Lebanon and on it goes. World events will never stop happening, as long as the World keeps spinning around till The Great Day.

So let us take a closer look at why these struggles occur; what drives them not only on the state level, but at an individual level, for we have come to realise that the individual constitutes the nation. We have also seen how a people can be deserving of a type of leader (such as dictator) due their own characteristics, and as in the case of Moses and his people, how a good leader can be the head of a stubborn, stiff-necked and uncooperative mass. History reveals many answers – Nature reveals many answers – and indeed Divine Revelation provides us many answers and insights for events which none of us were present.

Pride and Jealousy: Powerful Drivers and Tools of Evil

27. Recite to them the truth of the story of the two sons of Adam. Behold! They each presented a sacrifice (to God): It was accepted from one, but not from the other. Said the latter, “Be sure I will slay thee.” “Surely,” said the former, “(Allah) doth accept of the sacrifice of those who are righteous.

28. “If you do stretch your hand against me, to slay me, it is not for me to stretch my hand against you to slay thee: for I do fear Allah, the cherisher of the worlds.

29. “For me, I intend to let thee draw on thyself my sin as well as your own, for you will be among the companions of the fire, and that is the reward of those who do wrong.”

30. The (selfish) soul of the other led him to the murder of his brother: he murdered him, and became (himself) one of the lost ones.

31. Then Allah sent a raven, who scratched the ground, to show him how to hide the shame of his brother. “Woe is me!” said he; “Was I not even able to be as this raven, and to hide the shame of my brother?” then he became full of regrets-

32. On that account: We ordained for the Children of Israel that if any one slew a person - unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land - it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people. Then although there came to them Our apostles with clear signs, yet, even after that, many of them continued to commit excesses in the land.

33. The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: that is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the Hereafter;

34. Except for those who repent before they fall into your power: in that case, know that Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

35. O you who believe! Do your duty to Allah, seek the means of approach unto Him, and strive with might and main in his cause: that you may prosper.

36. As to those who reject Faith- if they had everything on earth, and twice repeated, to give as ransom for the penalty of the Day of Judgment, it would never be accepted of them, theirs would be a grievous penalty.

The two sons of Adam were Habil and Qabil (in English Bible Abel and Cain, respectively). Cain was the elder and Abel the younger – the righteous and innocent one. Presuming on the right of the elder, Cain was puffed up with arrogance and jealousy, which led him to commit the crime of murder. The cool, calm reply of Abel “Surely,” is full of meaning. He is innocent and God-fearing and the threat of death does not alter his state of belief and trust in God. He loves his Maker as he is effectively saying: “I am not going to retaliate though I have as much power as you have against me. I fear my Maker for I know He cherishes all His Creation. Let me warn you that you are doing wrong. I do not intend even to resist, but do you know what the consequences will be to you? You will be in spiritual torment.”

The innocent unselfish pleading of the younger brother had no effect, for the soul of the other was full of pride, selfishness and jealousy. He committed the murder, but in doing so, ruined his own self. The story of Cain is referred to in order to tell the story of Israel. Israel rebelled against God, slew and insulted righteous men who did them no harm, but on the contrary came in all humility.

When God withdrew His favour from Israel because of its sins and bestowed it on a brother nation, the jealousy of Israel plunged it deeper into sin. To kill, or seek to kill, an individual because he represents an ideal is to kill all who uphold the ideal. Whereas saving an individual life in the same circumstances is equivalent to saving the whole community. What could be stronger condemnation of individual assassination and revenge?

Honest Soul-Searching

So the current uprisings and revolutions are a culmination of years of inward reflections, yearning’s of the people’s soul to be closer to Him, free to call out His name with genuine pride and real honour and to live under His safe rule and good law. These revolutions are still taking shape – five months is nothing much in the grand scheme of things.

The Future of the any nation belongs to the people and in the world-over the people, want the same basic human rights: freedom of speech, opportunity, livelihood, education, travel, trade, business and security. The ‘war on terror’ was a convenient phrase to pursue the policy of ‘forward presence’ in sovereign lands according to the (non)-rules of ‘asymmetric warfare’. The so-called ‘axis of evil’ has been presented to the world as a way of dividing the planet along the ‘you are either with us or against us’ paradigm.

It is the current uprising and revolutions that is re-shaping the whole pattern and the re-shuffle of traditional power grids continues. Now a new language and a new idiom are required to secure the hearts and minds of the masses. People are not afraid of calling out for the truth. They are no longer afraid of pulling the reins of power in confidence towards the path of self-determination. The old regimes are losing ground, and I believe the East-West divide is narrowing all the time because the human needs, values, ideals and sufferings are the same as expressed the world over.

The ‘new approach’ is in fact a return to the honest self-expression as Abel demonstrated to his murderous brother Cain: “do what you want, the truth is on my side.” This same truth is what is causing pain to people across Europe and America – the great divide between those who ‘have’ and those who ‘have not’. The once great institutions of Education, Health, and Care Support are dwindling in face of huge economic crisis brought about due to the greed of the few in the banking world. This very economic crisis is causing the current political re-shuffle as people are claiming back their basic rights and privileges.

The whole world is undergoing a soul-searching exercise – the negative forces and impurities are being purged. The Earth is tired of carrying evil on its stomach, and the Great God above is allowing enough time for a rational re-assessment to take place country-by-country, people-by-people, and individual-by-individual.

A return to the historical era of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is beckoning. The re-alignment will be complete with the old order crumbling and the new, purer, just order replacing it. The Islamic Awakening is still nascent, as much remains to be done, and the impurities still need to be filtered post-colonisation era and dictatorial rule. Again, it will be deemed by some, and the question presents itself once again, could the colonisation process itself be considered an act of God? That US is currently the world’s dominant superpower, despite its huge deficit of $14trillion, so are not its actions a result of following Divine inspiration? This can be argued, but surely a sea-change is in process, with the former attitudes of complete hegemony arguably not plausible anymore as actions and motives are scrutinised ever-more with today’s communications methods including social media.

The role of the next batch of purer leaders will be to write a new narrative – one of peace, security, love and charity. They will demonstrate Higher Order by living by Principles of Justice and Divine Commandments. The Holy scripture/s will not be diluted or relegated to abstract theological polemics, but be the guiding light for the people and nations who wish to prosper, because they understand that the spiritual and physical dimensions are closely intertwined.

The on-going story of life is always the same as re-accounted here through the case of Moses and his people, as well as between Cain and Abel; the tussle between good and evil, light and dark, truth and falsehood, greed and generosity. It is the law of nature and history that the pendulum always swings to normalise the world affairs, though the history of conflict will continue due to our testing probationary period here on planet Earth.

Peaceful, democratic dissent and demonstrations are paving the way for change. Nations are healing and reconciling their differences. The contradictions between the elite and the masses are being re-addressed. Injustices and overstepping of boundaries may still occur here and there, but the new dialogue has the pendulum swinging well in the favour of Justice. Cultural forces are shaping a new vision for the people that have unleashed their creative power. Democracy will now be on suitable terms, not just on grounds of self-interest. People know who they really are, and deep down they sense that there is an alternative, better way to prosperity and global peace.

For Continued and Rising Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

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Hi,

I thought it would be good for you to know a little bit more about me and the the background to Ark2Ark Training & Coaching. So here’s the summary interview of my bio submitted to a local business magazine:

For over 14 years Asad Khan has been providing strategic leadership to individuals, groups, corporations, organisations and government agencies.

Asad Khan (PhD) has blue-chip corporate experience working alongside some of the world’s top scientist in the Research and Development Headquarters of the Pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline. He has been a consultant on technology and knowledge commercialisation projects to public institutions both governmental (Dept. of Trade and Industry, Regional Development Agencies, Local Authorities, etc.) and non-governmental (Academia) with Angle Technology Ltd. He has worked with Islamic Relief, an International Relief & Development NGO and through them, was involved in early post-war reconstruction work in Iraq in late 2003, as well as setting-up offices in Johannesburg, South Africa. He also has extensive experience of working with a variety of people and groups in voluntary capacities and has engaged in a number of projects that have impacted local communities.

Asad Khan has learnt powerful strategies, tools and techniques that can help people to evaluate their personal, professional and public pursuits in life. He works in ways which can help identify a person’s real talents, values and ambitions. Further, he can help crystallise these internal drivers and transmute them into solid plans so they create a compelling future in which the true life goals and purpose are being realised. No matter which level of standards one is currently living at, he believes there is every potential for personal growth with maximisation of ones abilities. He has the motivation and ingenuity to dispel fears and limiting belief patterns that hold people back from higher achievement and helps galvanise the forces that thrust their personal energies into desired directions. Commenting on his vision behind creating Ark2Ark Training & Coaching he says:

“I knew my strengths were always in thought-leadership, communication and resource mobilisation. It hit me right in my heart that such people skills were high on my personality listing. My job is to help discern the meaning behind events people face and get them into positive action, a mode of fulfilment and a commitment to higher levels of self-determination and actualisation. It upsets me to know that talented people can stroll through life only to reach a point of understanding where they query ‘Is this all there is?’ I want to shift this point of realisation to an earlier stage so that there is time to turn potential regrets into sources of inspiration and beneficial action.”

He has trained with world-class leaders in the field of personal development who have used their talents in transforming the lives of millions around the globe – both as individuals and corporate/organisation members including Anthony Robins, Paul McKenna and Christopher Howard as well as in-depth study of Stephen Covey’s work. He has, over the years, steadily built his own understandings and added his personal dimensions to the field. When asked about his route into strategic self-leadership coaching, he responded:

“We simply don’t give ourselves the chance to understand how we work; what makes us tick; how to get centred and look on the inside; how to grow to a level which enables us to let go of inconsequential things; how to appreciate the finer aspects of relationships and to expand our minds and hearts to embrace both minor or major matters of importance. Throughout the years I have gone through ‘traditional routes of progression’ in academia and professional endeavours only to realise that something deep was missing: a sense of self-belief and living on my purpose with true passion & contentment.”

His desire to break from monotony and social configuration led him through a period of self-analysis and reflection. Perhaps this is his key distinction – that he has personally walked through this process for himself and now supports other leaders and high achievers to step-up their game:

“I took a break from it all and threw everything I had into working out what the meaning of my life’s work was to be. I have to tell you this because despite being what appeared to be a rising professional, I knew that complacency and self-limiting beliefs would get in the way of my fulfilment and I had to ‘step out of the box’ - my comfort zone - in order to reflect and develop plans. See, initially I climbed the corporate & social ladder as a rising star tends to; then I came down a few rungs. And now I’ve gone back-up with greater perspectives. I can confidently say that I know what it means to be in the dark; be mediocre; settle for the ordinary; get socially, or corporately, scripted and even get pre-occupied with matters of insignificance. Conversely, I now also know what it means to be enlightened; be emboldened; be empowered; be energised to take risk and discover new potential both within and around me.”

His experiences are far-ranging and contain the depth necessary to have insights into the developing strategies that help people shift into more resourceful, enlightened, balanced states of being. He’s often been questioned as to why he’s so passionate about working with people to develop higher standards, regain balance and work their edge, for which he replies:

“I’ve had times when I’ve seen top-ranking professionals just crumble under the enormous pressure they face without knowing what had happened. For instance, a middle-aged professor in a leading university was having an intense period in his work routine with all sorts of deadlines looming concerning proposals, contracts, company listing, patents etc. as well as strife within his team. He was arriving early to his office and leaving late – sometimes very late, in order to meet the deadlines. This continued over a number of months and there seemed to be no end to the amount of things he had to attend to, including more deadlines. Consequently, he faced the unimaginable: his wife wanted to divorce him and take their 3 children with her. He had got to a stage where there was an imbalance in his routine with a lack of priority of things. He had the best of intentions that led him to work flat-out but without recognising the negative consequences on his personal health and relationships. Not only did he lose his family, but some of his senior members of staff also left and the once ‘high priority’ work that he’d spent long hours on had now collapsed. The point of the matter here is that important work will always be around, as I said to him, but that it mustn’t overtake our bearings and sense of balance, principles and time such that our various roles and activities are adversely affected. I know there are people who are silently suffering from lack of clarity and conviction to their innate nature - which is the root-cause of incongruence. But with the right support things can be adjusted so that a person is re-aligned and centred.”

Asad Khan is known for his talents and abilities, and they are apparent for all to see who engage with him and allow an air of honesty and opportunity to exist around them – which he helps create if there is an unconscious resistance to this. He has witnessed radical transformations in individuals who were formally living a filtered, scripted and constrained life. Complete turnarounds in their views, perspectives, directions and course of actions have been achieved with his interventions and assistance. He has also been noted to energise and captivate audiences with his presence, moving presentation and thought-provoking analysis. When asked about publishing his thoughts and experiences, he says:

“I’ve started drafting some pages and intend to publish a book in the next couple of years, but for now I’d like you to understand this: our life is but a summation of our choices and what, and more importantly how, we decide to act now will determine the quality of our lives in the future and ultimately our destiny. I’m currently busy working with people to re-align with their authentic self and a book will happen when the time is right. However, a workbook is available. Ark2Ark Training & Coaching is a continuation of a desire and it won’t stop here; there’s plenty more to come. At this moment, I’m giving my all to this and I’d like to offer you a little food for thought in what I believe form The 7P’s of Incredible Psychology. I’ll be writing about these in more details in the forth-coming book, but readers are requested to sign-up to the regular newsletters for further details and meanings behind the 7P’s as well as other gems.”

PURPOSE - PASSION - PERFORMANCE - PRODUCTIVITY - PROGRESS - POWER - PEACE

“And I’d just like to add that there is already a lot of success, achievement and blessing in one’s life but we need to pay careful attention to understand the thread between them and their possible meaning. When we do have challenges, when we dip, it’s usually for a reason – life wants to help us grow and learn new perspectives. But the tragedy is when we don’t pay heed to these pointers and we continue on regardless of whether we have good fortune or misfortune. Ark2Ark Training & Coaching was set-up to act on the hearts and minds of talented people to guide their inner thoughts and feelings; but not just to inform, rather to transform.”

Go ahead and order your Workbook and view the Training Brochure for all courses and you can book onto the Seminars here.

Why not Asad call for a free half-an hour coaching session and see the what the power of coaching can do for you. Call me on +44 (0)161 860 77 77.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

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Dear Reader,

We can all feel tremendous at times - especially when winter begins to fold away and the sun begins to beam through - a special force residing within shapes our thinking and changes the mood that permeates our choices and course of actions. With this, we begin to talk differently, the walking alters, the lighter dress colours are adopted, we hang outside with others more and generally we begin to look forwards towards completing our day.

There are other times however when no matter how light and bright it may be outside, we still feel rotten inside because we cannot let go of the past winter that hemmed us in. Why? Does the weather have complete control on how we think, feel and behave? You will probably agree with me and say “no, of course it doesn’t”.

Then what is the force that gets altered so much so as to make us feel ecstatic in one moment yet miserable another? That force is the spirit that resides within us all - the mighty spirit that is coupled to our indispensable soul. Now its not so much of ‘it’ getting altered itself, but rather how we relate with it from moment-to-moment, task-to-task, goal-to-goal.

So you see, I’m not talking about the condition of the weather outside and how it affects our mood, although this is true. I’m talking about our ability to change the ‘weather’ on the inside at will. This can be done and mastered. Its just a matter of practice. There are certain handles on how it can be managed and related to so that you can optimise your feelings and ability to do things to a greater standard -  as and when you please - regardless of the weather outside!

One such handle is to know what you want.

What is it that you are trying to do or achieve?

What are your short/mid/long-term aims?

Have you broken these down aims into manageable steps?

And most importantly, what do they mean to you?

Soon I’ll share with you some more important aspects on how to work this spiritual force to help get great results in every department of your life.

For Success & Contentment,

Asad Khan

Further Information on this topic is available in the free sample chapter of the MPPPL Personal Development Workbook available at the main Ark2Ark Training & Coaching site under the Free Items tab .

Are you a Champion? Then you have to Work the Edge…

“Champions aren’t made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina; they have to be a little faster; they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.” M Ali, 3 times heavyweight champion of the World.

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…like waves? Well, you are now familiar from the post below how men have an intimacy cycle, one that most men don’t seem to understand, let alone women they are attached to. But that’s the trick here: to pick-up key ideas and tools that help create a greater self-awareness and insights into fulfilling your inherent potential that you have been born with. We don’t all have the necessary skills to lead a perfect life and to grapple each issue that life challenges us with ease and grace, but if we hone our skills - communication, confidence, thinking, relationships, networking, and others, then I ‘m sure you’ll agree that we move closer to fulfilling that potential rather leaving it dormant.

So, as the man begins to understand his own cycle and reassures the women when he pulls away that he will be back, it helps more so with the women’s wave mood: she feels high when acknowledged, loved and appreciated - her self-esteem rises when she’s feeling good about herself. But when she’s not, the peak turns downwards and the wave crashes down. This crash is temporary however and automatically her wave will begin to rise.

A woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is usually a reflection of how she is feeling about herself. When not feeling as good about herself, she is unable to be as accepting and appreciative of her partner. At her down times, she tends to be feel frustrated and more emotionally reactive. At the time when her wave is at the bottom, she is vulnerable and in need of more love. When the man understands this, he can give her what she needs and not make unreasonable demands. Rather, she might want some quality time, a little breathing space and typically the need to talk about her problems, to be heard and understood. This tendency of the woman coming down is like her going into her ‘well’ where she is sinking into her unconscious self to do some ‘mental & emotional house-cleaning’. But if she is supported and cared for whilst at the bottom, she will soon rise back again to share her love in her relationships.

A common mistake men make is to think that once she is high she can remain there forever. Not so lucky guys! Listen, just as you need to retreat and pull back to have intimacy, women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others. It just like the 4 seasons, you don’t get hot summer all the year round! Life, like the seasons, moves in rhythms and merge seamlessly into one another. So when a women is having an emotional winter, love and support her so that she can move into spring and to the shiny summer sooner where she can radiate her full love to you. Both men and women have such love rhythms and its important to reflect them back to each other, as they do not necessarily coincide in a timely fashion.

So how can a man help his wife to rise back? Firstly, by not attempting to ‘fix’ her. See, its one thing a women having to go into her well to tidy her emotional clutter whilst being supported, but its another if she’s told that she needs to be ‘fixed’! When this happens you know what to expect: a row and a bust-up. I know how we men like to look for solutions to fix problems, but as has been mentioned repeatedly, the woman needs to be heard. Her talking about her issues, however mundane they may appear to you, are her way of healing and you can expect her to become more upset if you do truly listen to her. Let her express, vent and clear-up because she’ll feel lighter for it as this will help her to release the baggage and rise up.

To support a woman when she is in her well is a special talent and benefit that will help the relationship move through the years and seasons without you even noticing it as such. Just remember, the likelihood of issues being repeated whilst she’s in her ‘well’ are high. They may be deep issues, old issues, repeated issues, or whatever the flavour of the day happens to be. Whatever it is, the man will do good to help validate her feelings whenever she’s gone down to her ‘well’. He may never resolve the issue, or ‘fix’ it, but the essence of the support is in his giving time, space and appreciation to her feelings. He, nor her, ought to ever think that he is at fault for her going into her ‘well’. Nor is he a failure for not resolving the issues regardless of how many times they may reoccur. Again, its about providing the safety for her to express and for him to validate her feelings.

So men who support their women intelligently and patiently reap the most reward for the woman is comforted by the idea of having a man who understands her well enough for her to trust and relate to.

I hope this insight helps add to the conveniences of our natural relationships so that the true beauty of the otherness in the significant other is sought, harnessed and matured.

For Success and Contentment,

Asad

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Hi there,

The Magic of Relationships seminar is coming up on the 18th December. To get us started, allow me to share with you some ideas that will help foster better understandings towards one another.

Men are Like Rubber Bands:

Which means they like to pull away, they like to stretch out to create distance, but then they have to return - often springing back. Its the male intimacy cycle that involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again. Women don’t tend to realise this rhythm and feel distressed when the deep romance surrounding a relationship abruptly ends and when the man wishes to focus on something else. It’s a common misinterpretation because women tend to pull away for different reasons: when she doesn’t trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and fears being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

Of course a man can pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if the lady has done nothing wrong. It could purely be a male thing - the need to have space - even though he loves and trusts her. But like the stretched rubber band, he’ll come back. This need for space is like the man going into his cave: its a place of solitude, independence and autonomy. He’ll soon feel the need to spring back and automatically pick up the intimacy at whatever levels required, even just before he pulled away, without the having to go through a period of getting reacquainted again.

If properly understood, this male intimacy cycle enriches a relationship, but can cause havoc when misread and misjudged, or even mis-timed. Usually, the man can give and take less readily than the woman, so the women thinks that her man is not reciprocating her love. Women naturally give and take more readily and can easily express their sentiments. But when they don’t see this happening with the man, they misjudge him and think that there’s something wrong with him. Anxiety builds up when she tries to ‘fix’ him - that’s not what he needs…rather he wants to simply pull away to have his own breathing space: whether its in the shed, out with friends, strolling, watching a movie or reading. She continues to get frustrated when he wants to ignore her and she develops ideas that he doesn’t love her, or worse still, think that he has got someone else! A confused state of affairs soon arises.

Women should understand the need for a man to pull away. Its good for him and her (and any children). He’ll spring back with power and enthusiasm. Men however need to remember that it may be easy for them to get to intense levels of intimacy as he was before pulling back, but the woman may need to time to catch-up and re-familiarise - particularly if she’s been through a state of confusion or panic (she doesn’t know what she did to switch you off)!

It is very confusing for a woman when a man pulls away because something she says or does often triggers his departure - usually when she begins to talk about feelings. The talk of feelings creates intimacy and the man can be defensive and not open-up, hence begin to pull away. It’s not that he doesn’t care about her feelings as at another point in the intimacy cycle those same feelings will draw him closer. So its not just what she says but rather when.

When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, common symptoms are increased passiveness, moodiness, irritability and defensiveness. And the women builds a huge amount of dependency on the man that can lead to a high degree of unwarranted trust, such that if he does pull away, she feels totally dejected for ‘doing something wrong’ or misappropriating the trust. She may begin to resent him and hold bitter feelings towards him unjustifiably. When women don’t understand the male intimacy cycle, they can unknowingly obstruct it in two ways: they are (1) chasing him when he pulls away; (2) punishing him for pulling away.

Men must be sensitive to the needs of women (I’ll come on to that later) but also understand the requirement of pulling away. If timed, done well and worked with, a high degree of satisfaction can be engendered in the relationship such that the natural rhythms of both the man and woman are held to a better standard. There’s no need for guilt or blame on either side. The man needs to go to the cave every now and again, grow and become wiser….he’ll return to with a freshness that the women has longed for and will be better prepared to hear her share her feelings. The patient woman who understands this will love and trust her man, share with him as needed, and allow him to open-up in his own time without demanding it to be so.

This single insight into the male cycle that has been represented as mimicking a rubber band can replace so much confusion and unnecessary pain with that of care and understanding.

Soon we’ll take a look at how women act as waves….

For Success and Contentment,

Asad Khan

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